Confidence often leads to success in life. AND a lack of confidence often leads to missing out on a good job, a sale, or a relationship.
But what if you’re lacking confidence and don’t even know it? Procrastination often masks a lack of confidence, which often masks a fear of failure.
When successful people get asked their secret of success, they usually say, “I chose to believe in myself even when no one else did.”
How did they accomplish that mindset? They chose it. They actually manufactured it, and probably didn’t even realize it. The good news is that you can “manufacture” true confidence, even if you don’t have it now [without being arrogant].
In fact, arrogance usually is an overcompensation for having low self confidence. Someone with true self confidence doesn’t come across as arrogant. They just seem certain, grounded and capable.
Here’s a common scenario. You are feeling a lack of confidence about an upcoming high stakes situation. Maybe it’s public speaking, an interview or a sales pitch. A well meaning friend says, “Just believe in yourself!” Does this really help?
Not usually. It’s not something you can just switch on at will. Confidence is the result of many stories you tell about yourself. These are stored in your subconscious mind.
Some people have stories that help them feel confident. Most people have a list of bad stories that make them feel a lack of confidence. The good news is that you can change the balance of good to bad.
Here are 3 easy steps to manufacture true confidence.
1. List Stories of Success: Choose an area of life where you want more self confidence. For example, during interviews. Make a list of times you had an interview and it went well, even just okay. Now write out the details of what went right. Keep this list of short stories of your success, and re-read them especially just before another interview. This will ensure good memories are in your short terms memory bank, not the bad memories.
2. Start an Esteem Bank: Anytime someone genuinely compliments you about anything, write it down in a journal called your “Esteem Bank” and re-read it often. Again this stacks the good stories in favor of the bad.
3. Compliment Others: Genuine compliments are hard to come by these days. These can boost a person’s energy and it will improve your own as well. Even if it’s as simple as their choice of clothes or the fact that they arrived on time for a meeting. It still can make a difference. In turn, they may return kindness with kindness as well, to you or others. Most people judge others. Even if you don’t express that out loud, the energy signature of judgment DOES get picked up by others. Gratitude for others changes the way your brain works, how others receive you, and it fills your system with stress reduction hormones.
What do you do to build your confidence? Feel free to comment below.
FURTHER RESOURCES TO CHECK OUT
A Guided Audio to Build Your Confidence Quickly
Fear of failure is very common. It can create self sabotage when it comes to achieving high stakes goals. Check out this guided audio self hypnosis process to help you:
- learn from and let go of any negative feelings regarding past mistakes
- reframe past failures in terms of what you learned
- feel more confident about moving forward with your important goals