Your worst enemy is often your own self. How many times have you heard that nagging voice in your head telling you that you can’t make it, that you’re not good enough, and that you’re going to fail? Most of the time, people can’t help but have this self-defeating attitude that, more often than not, stops us from achieving our potential.
Whatever the root cause of your lingering self-doubt is, it’s about time you get over it. As it stands, there’s no one more capable to help you get over this attitude than yourself. It’s all about a change of perspective—and it won’t be easy, but taking baby steps will definitely take you there.
a. What are your doubts?
When do your doubts creep on you? In order to get over your self-defeatist attitude, you first have to find out when it comes up. Whenever you say “I can’t do it” or “I don’t know how to do that”, that should automatically raise an alarm to you. Instead of responding this way to situations that challenge you, you should take every trial as an opportunity to learn.
b. Who are planting these negative thoughts?
These are the people who can’t help but bog you down with their negativity. Identify the people who, whether consciously or otherwise, poisoning your mind with pessimistic and negative thoughts. They do no more than weigh you down and make you feel worse about yourself. Take active steps towards avoiding these people. Instead, be with people who inspire you and support you through and through.
c. What are your successes?
Sadly, we tend to lose sight of our victories, big or small, whenever we face problems. Why don’t you look back and take a look at your achievements in life so far? I mean it—grab a clean sheet of paper, and start writing down the great things you’ve achieved in life. It doesn’t have to be an award or a recognition. Even being patient in challenging situations is as good an achievement as any.
d. Do you love yourself?
This is a no-brainer question, and if you took some time before you finally answered (and hopefully, the answer is a resounding YES), then that’s saying something. Loving and trusting yourself are pretty basic. So go on, give yourself a little pat on the back. You don’t have to be so difficult on yourself.
e. What do you do when you fail at something?
Failures are certain, but how you deal with them isn’t. And if you don’t fail, then that only means that you don’t even bother to go out of your comfort zone. So by all means, allow yourself to fail and learn from it. What counts is that you get up and try again.