Today I wanted to explore the next 2 reasons people get stuck in stress and stay in stress.
Reasons 3 and 4
Reason 3. Naysaying. You may have identified your stressor and an ideal outcome, but the minute you try to come up with a solution the “inner editor” takes over. Every idea gets shot down.
“I could decline helping at the volunteer event this weekend.” “No, I can’t do that, then I’d let everyone down.” If this happens too often the ideas tend to dry up. When you are feeling overwhelmed or defeated by the nay saying mind, it’s easy to forget that you have all the resources you need inside.
If you have ever played tennis with someone who is a better player, often your game improves. It’s called learning by osmosis. You can do this with any area of life by imagining you were someone who is exceptionally good at solving your particular issue. This activates coping skills you may have forgotten you have.
Do this by answering the question: “If I were exceptionally good at (what you are trying to create). E.g. “If I were exceptionally good at staying at ease and confident in the face of all my obligations I would…prioritize every morning, let go of lower priority obligations, and exercise more often.” Make as big a list as possible of all the things that come to mind.
Reason 4. Not re-setting your intention daily. Many people say it’s impossible to change because they tried for a week and it didn’t work. Or, they looked at their goals every day but nothing ever changed. The biggest difference between people who successfully make lifestyle changes and those who don’t is this: they re-set their intention daily. If you brushed your teeth once a month you wouldn’t expect to have healthy teeth, would you?
Every time you feel pulled to return to your stressor (such as overeating or smoking or working too hard) imagine you are someone who does it differently. E.g. Imagine you are actually doing yoga every morning, or prioritizing before you start work each day.
Since neuroscientists have now discovered that we have brain cells throughout our entire body, it serves to embody the new mind set, and to fully imagine yourself doing these new habits. Over time you will re-wire how your system habitually operates, re-writing new neuropathways in your brain and the new behaviour will just happen naturally.