Category Archives for "Success Stories"

Here are 4 of the top myths to avoid when it comes to HOW you manifest your goals.

4 Myths to Avoid When it Comes to How You Manifest Goals

Here are 4 of the top myths to avoid when it comes to HOW you manifest your goals. Maybe you’ve read books on how to use your mind to create goals and manifest big dreams, such as Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, or The Success Principles by Jack Canfield,. In our experience, sometimes people get confused, and the tools for manifestation start working against them. Let’s begin by clearing up these four areas.

#1 – It’s Important to Ignore the Negative

This is an important distinction to make between not ruminating on negativity but instead paying attention to it as a signpost towards success. There is a notion that you make things worse by focusing on negative issues. But really its more about seeing the negative as fuel for growth. We can’t avoid the negative, it’s a huge part of our world, the purpose of which is like barbells at a gym…the heavy lifting builds muscles, resilience and strength of character.

It’s like people who ignore the symptoms of a growing illness and end up regretting not doing something about it sooner. Instead, the trick is to reframe how we see negative issues and do something about them sooner rather than later. Of course many of us know this intellectually, that it’s important to see the negative as a symptom of something that needs healing, as a learning tool, a gift in disguise – but it’s another thing to apply it to your own life. Because looking at an issue in your life from that place of wise discernment can make you feel very uncomfortable.

For example, I had a client who was in a relationship with a man who kept borrowing larger and larger sums of money saying it was for a business venture. She wanted to be a supportive person, to focus on the positive aspects of the relationship. Finally she revealed to me what was going on and why she couldn’t afford to pay for a trip her son wanted to go on. When I helped her make the distinction between ignoring the negative and using it as a tool for transformation, it gave her the courage and curiosity to find out what was really going on.

She needed to ask herself over and over again — what do I need to learn here? The answer she got was to be more assertive and forthright and direct in her questions of what he was doing with the money. We rehearsed what she would say, and helped her get untriggered about the situation first before approaching him. And she needed to be willing to face whatever was really going on, which of course could mean the end of the relationship. Once she got there, she asked him point-blank, from an openhearted place, so he could do nothing else but tell her the truth. The money was supporting a bad cocaine habit. It was worse than she thought. The bad news is that it did break up the relationship, but the good news is that they remained friends and she helped him get into treatment, and he’s now off drugs.

So her breakthrough ended up also being a breakthrough for him. So, think about a negative issue in your life. How can you bring courage and curiosity to the issue, to find out what’s really going on, what you need to learn here, what needs to transform, even if it’s uncomfortable. Because in the end, you’ll probably be very relieved that you did this, and perhaps others involved in the issue as well.

#2 – You Just Need to Set a Definite Intention

Setting a definite versus a wishy-washy intention is the first and most important goal for manifestation. Because if you don’t know what you want, you don’t know what to focus on. What you focus on grows: Energy flows where attention goes. So, the mere fact of getting clarity around a goal puts you in a better position of getting it. However, the way the Laws of Manifestation work, without action the field of possibilities literally CANNOT bring it to you. Focused action galvanizes the field of possibilities to reciprocate. The more you take action to make your goal a reality, even if it’s the wrong action, the more you are reassuring the field that this is what you want and the field meets you half-way to make it happen.

For example, I had a client who wanted to speak at a TEDx event. I created a mental rehearsal audio blueprint where she saw herself getting an opportunity and standing there on stage getting a standing ovation, her video going viral. Then I also sent her all kinds of audition notices, and told her how to contact the organizers, but she never did that part. She thought that just envisioning herself speaking on a TEDx stage was enough…that someone would ask her.

Now, the universe was meeting her halfway by getting to hear about these opportunities from me, but I found out she didn’t see it that way. That was just me helping her as her coach, not the Universe responding to her intention. It turns out she was waiting to be asked. The problem is, unless you are already an established speaker, chances are you won’t get asked. She was an unknown.

Underneath that, of course, was the fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success, what would she talk about, what if people didn’t like it, what if it was too much work? So once we identified those subconscious fears that were sabotaging her and blocking her from taking action, we could do turn arounds on them. Then, she had no problem filling out the applications to audition and eventually did speak at a TEDx event and was very successful.

So, think about that for yourself. Is there an area of your life that you keep seeing yourself doing it, feeling yourself doing it, but not actually taking any action to do it? If so, don’t beat yourself up about it. Just put something in your task list, one small little step in that direction, to show the universe that you mean business. In fact, the first 4 TEDx events she made a proposal to, all rejected her. But the good news is, she kept going. That was like the universe testing her resolve. And the universe will do that to you. How much do you really want this? I’m not going give it to you right off the bat, but if you keep coming back to the plate, to play ball, I will reward you with opportunities.

#3 – Assuming that What Shows Up is Meant to Be

This is a free will universe. You can choose what you want your life to be like. This puts you in the driver seat and gives you the responsibility for all your experiences. So, even if the universe does know what’s most beneficial for your growth and expansion, still you can make a choice to resist it or walk a whole different path. It’s part of our soul’s purpose to find our own way. Sure, you can get guidance by following your intuition, your inner compass, but still at some point you have to decide what you want. That’s the game we’re playing here. The Universe, the field of possibilities, responds to clear requests – good or bad.

For example, I had a client who was was part of a network marketing company selling nutritional products that had made a huge difference to her health.  Her dream was to work her way up as an independent business rep for them, working from home so that she could be home with her kids more, travel more, and leave her job which she disliked. She focused daily on that dream and the Universe responded. Her boss told her one day that the Insurance company where she worked was asking for some people to willingly take a layoff package.

That meant she would have a tidy little sum of money, and far more free time to pursue her business. She thought about it for a while but then decided to stay at her job. She didn’t like the idea of having no secure income each month. She’d do it next year when she was earning more money in her network marketing business.

The field responded in kind and a promotion showed up in the Insurance company that required far more of her time, doing managerial work which she didn’t like, but paid a bit more money. Regular money every month. She thought at first that was meant to be, because that’s what showed up. Meanwhile, her sideline business started going down.

The truth is, the Universe will support your decisions, because it doesn’t judge what you want. It is just like the Law of Gravity. What goes up must come down. Whatever you decide, whatever you feel safe having, whatever you think you are worth, that’s what comes into the field of opportunity. Now, the tricky part is often people are making those decisions like staying a job you don’t like, at a subconscious level.

That’s what we realized she was doing. But the good news is that, once she made that distinction, where she realized how her subconscious desires, below her awareness, were dictating what the universe was bringing in terms of opportunities – she could then transform it. Instead she made a definite decision in her heart, to forgo security of regular income in favor of all the things she said she wanted – to work for a company where she really believed in the products and services, to work from home, to work with people who loved what they were doing. And she reread that intention daily, imagining herself full-time in that new role, doing the necessary actions to make that happen..and the universe responded.

Her boss felt she wasn’t really managerial material and fired her. And while you may say about this situation – be careful what you wish for– because she got a severance package which was far less than the one she would have gotten if she willingly chose to get laid off. Still, it was the universe responding in kind to the new decision..one that gave her the spare time to build her new business. So this time she took the hint.

The good news is that three and half years later she’s making more money than she did in her managerial position and has the lifestyle that she actually wants. Was it easy-going the whole way? No, but she was much happier because she felt on purpose and that she was in the driver seat, making the choices, and aligning herself with how the laws of manifestation work.

So, think about that for yourself. Has something ever shown up in your life that you assumed was meant to be, and then in retrospect you realize it wasn’t? It was just the Laws working how they work. If so, don’t beat yourself up, just extract the learning from that situation, forgive yourself and move on.

And also ask yourself if there is something right now that is showing up seemingly synchronistically… Is it really the right path for you, or is it just the field responding to either negative conscious or subconscious beliefs and desires?

#4 – Manifesting Should Always Feel Easy and Comfortable

Usually you have to grow personally to become a person with a different reality from the one you have now. For example, the client I just talked about had come from three generations of people who worked in the insurance industry. Everyone she knew had a job with a secure pay check. To leave that and be a business owner, meant dismantling the foundation upon which she’d lived her whole life. It’s like doing a renovation on your house, where you’re stripping it down to the studs, while living in there at the same time. It can be dusty, inconvenient and uncomfortable. But of course, if you stick it out you have this amazing new, better house to live in.

Changing your old behaviors can be very challenging. She had to get used to giving herself structure for the day, because no one was going to do it for her as a business owner. She only got paid if she took risks every day, facing rejection. That never happened in her administrative job in the insurance company. She didn’t have to face rejection every day at all.

Of course, in the beginning she was bad at all these things. She didn’t know how to run a business, everything was slow and cumbersome. Her presentations were awkward and just made people want to run away. But the truth is, that’s often how it is for everyone starting a new business. It’s like you have to pay your dues and go through these uncomfortable situations before you earn your Scout badge and get the skills you need to be successful. You don’t usually get success right out of the gate. Otherwise you wouldn’t grow as a person.

But, the more she kept at it, the easier it got. She wanted to quit many times and that’s why being part of a group of success minded people, getting coaching was really important for her – because she wanted to quit many times over. Of course, like everyone says the miracles happened once she went outside her comfort zone! But it’s one thing to read a nice Facebook quote about that, and it’s another one to stretch yourself outside YOUR comfort Zone and actually experience getting the rewards life then brings you. It teaches you at a deep subconscious, instinctual level that it’s often worth the risk, as long as you thought it through well. And that gives you courage moving forward.

Think about that for yourself. Have you ever set a definite goal and then life started to bring you situations that helped you manifest it and those situations made you very uncomfortable? It’s pretty common. If so, have compassion for yourself. Personal growth can be stressful. Breathe into the fear. What can be helpful is to actually imagine yourself bravely walking into the fire of transformation, allowing the old beliefs and self images to burn away. So, face it with an open heart, be willing to learn. Just your openhearted willingness alone in that way, will make the whole process so much easier.

Did you ever believe one of these myths? If so, type it into the comments. I certainly believed all of them at certain points in my life…and paid the price. I’m sure you also know people who live by these myths and get in trouble because of it, too.

Also, feel free to add other myths that you think people get stuck in, either you or people that you’ve seen in your life. We can all learn from each other here.

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Are you feeling stuck and need a mental breakthrough?

Check out our FREE online training on The Art of Mindset Masterywith Carla Rieger this Tuesday. You’ll discover a process that you can use over and over again. Come with a specific issue and you’ll learn how to let go of subconscious stories that you didn’t even know were stopping you.  It will help you get back into the flow of success again!

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unstuck

Mind Story: A 3 Step Process to Get Unstuck

Last year, I was traveling and speaking a lot. At one point, I got into a panic about missing my flight. I’m getting off one flight and realize I only have 56 minutes to get to my next flight. I discover I have to leave security. Exit the terminal. Take a bus to the next terminal. Go through security again to my gate. I get to security and the line is a mile long. My flight is leaving in 18 minutes.

I start to panic. Even if I jump to the front of the line, there’s still a 15 minute walk AFTER I get through security. Of course when you panic your brain capacity goes down, and you tend to catastrophize. I start envisioning missing my flight and therefore missing my speaking engagement and all the negative consequences of that reality. Then I took a deep breath which, I know, can shift brain chemistry. I remembered about this Mind Story process to get “unstuck”.

It’s 3 simple steps:

#1 – NEGATIVE MINDSET. I identified the negative mindset “I am worried I won’t make my flight”.

#2 – POSITIVE MINDSET. I chose an opposite mindset “I have chosen to be confident that I can make my flight.”

#3 – MIND STORY. I remember a time I was in a similar situation and DID make my flight. It was 11 years earlier and I relived exactly what happened. I asked an airline rep to fast track me the whole way there. I doubted this would work again since I couldn’t see an airline rep anywhere in sight. I left my place in the line and told a security agent about my plight. He whipped me through the priority lane. Then they escorted me to an airline rep standing on the other side of security. She hailed down an airport golf cart. While I was speeding my way to the gate, she contacted the gate agent who was just closing the door. They held it open five more minutes. I arrived just in time for my flight.

Have you ever noticed that people often think they can’t solve a problem because of an external circumstance, when it’s actually their mindset? By remembering a time I was in a similar situation before, it helped me solve the situation again. You may be thinking, that’s just common sense.  However, you’d be surprised at how often people lose their common sense when they are letting a negative mindset such as worry, overwhelm or confusion dictate their thinking.

You can use this 3 step Mind Story process on yourself, or with others. You can use it to solve a simple situation like the story above or a more complex situation like how to solve a cash flow crisis or how to make a life changing decision.

Here’s how you’d use it to help someone else. I was working with a client who was disappointed because he’d pitched himself as a consultant to a huge company and lost to a  competitor. Here’s how I worked with him.

Step #1 – NEGATIVE MINDSET: I had him state his negative mindset in this way “I am + negative mindset + the situation”. For example, “I am disappointed about losing the deal”.

Step #2 – POSITIVE MINDSET: Then, I had him state the opposite, positive mindset that would help him find a better solution, “I have chosen to be + positive mindset + situation resolving”. He said, “I have chosen to be confident that I can learn from the situation and bounce back.”

This seemed strange at first to him, because he wasn’t feeling confident. However, as the old saying goes “You cannot solve a problem with the same mindset that created it.” The trick here is to help a person manufacture the new mindset, attitude, feeling, perception, by stating it in this way. By doing that, you help them create a magnet from the negative to the positive. It’s much like a circuit needs both negative and positive polarities to create electricity. The meeting of the two opposites then creates the spark for a solution.

Step #3 – TELL A MIND STORY: I asked him to tell me a story about a time he overcame a similar situation in the past. This is called a “Mind Story”. It’s a story that opens up new possibilities in the conscious AND subconscious mind of the listener. I asked him to include a beginning, middle and end. The beginning is what happened before he created a solution. The middle is what he did to create the solution. And the end is what it looked like after he implemented the solution. For example, he said:

Last year I almost got the TCU deal and lost to a different competitor. I had worked days on that proposal. I’d done 3 meetings. I was short-listed, and very hopeful. When I lost the deal I lost my enthusiasm. I got sick. I wanted to quit being a consultant. Then a friend told me about another company looking for a consultant like me and the deadline for the proposal was 2 days away. I shrugged off my disappointment and got the proposal done on time and landed the deal.

After he told me the story I asked him, “So, what would you do in this situation?”

He said, “Clearly I think it would work for me to just going on another proposal, rather than wallow in regret. It’s a numbers game.”

Off he went. Disappointment gone. Back in the saddle.

Does it always work quickly like that? No. But if it doesn’t work right away, chances are it will later. Sometimes you have to do it a few times, in more complex ways. These are just simple examples, using a short version of the Mind Story tools, for the sake of brevity. Stories bypass the judgmental mind and can open up a conversation between your subconscious and conscious mind. That way you are less likely to be stopped by limiting beliefs that can keep you stuck.

Enjoy and let me know if you try it

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WANT TO SHARPEN YOUR STORYTELLING SKILLS? On sale right now is The Storytelling in Business Course. It’s for anyone who wants to communicate to people in a business setting using more stories instead of boring concepts. For example, when motivating and coaching your team, when talking to a prospective customer or client. Normally it is $298, but you can get it for only $48 for a very limited time. Just click here for more details https://courses.carlarieger.com/storytelling-in-business/

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presenters

Top Presenters Use “Mind Stories” to Engage and Activate Their Listeners

A “Mind Story” engages listeners at the level of values and core beliefs. As such these kinds of stories can activate people in positive ways. By contrast, a regular story told by a presenter might be interesting but doesn’t change people at a core level.

For example, you may remember the book series “Chicken Soup for the Soul” by Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield. These books included stories that touch people at the level of soul, heart, emotions, values. You may like some of these stories and not others. It depends on your values and personality. However, stories that just appeal to the linear, logical, analytical mind tend to not stick with people in the same way.

Mind Stories are metaphors, anecdotes or stories that reprogram people for good or bad. Therefore, you must use them responsibly. They work much like software in a computer and are a universal language everyone understands at the subconscious level. Therapists and counsellors have been using Therapeutic Metaphors for decades. For example, if a client is dealing with the untimely death of a spouse, the therapist might tell the story of a rose garden with two roses. One gets dug up and removed to another location, and what transpires because of that. In hearing the story, often the client will find a new and more helpful perspective on their situation that they might not otherwise be able to see.  You can use Mind Stories to help students solve problems, help coaching clients transform an issue, and even sell products and services that your prospects need.

Mind Stories are usually better than common sales talk.  In a Mind Story you relate real life instances to real people, thereby showing them how the benefits might play out their life. They see the product as a solution instead of simply a commodity. They make the buying decision it’s the right fit for them versus feeling manipulated. As a result, there is far less buyers regret.

Mind Stories also show us how to change our perspective at will, and break us free of programming that’s keeping us stuck. That’s why using a Mind Story as a speaker at a live event, on a webinar, in a video, with a coaching or consulting client and in a sales conversation, is good for you and for the listener. As long as what you’re teaching or promoting holds value for the listener, these kinds of stories will help clear up misunderstandings and objections.

You can also use Mind Stories for your own personal and professional development. The stories we tell ourselves can make or break our success. For example, I had two coaching clients who were both speaking at the same event. One was telling herself a story about how she wasn’t ready and how the audience wasn’t going to like her talk. The other client was telling himself a different story. It was about how he WAS ready and how the audience was going to love his talk. During our rehearsals the first client fell to pieces and the second client did very well. The story you tell yourself greatly affects your performance.

With my first client we worked on two new Mind Stories. One from her past, where she relived a public speaking success from the year before. I also helped her mentally rehearse how she wanted it to go, thereby creating a new story for her future. As a result, her performance on the actual day was 10x better and people got tremendous value from her talk.

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If you’d like to check out a free process to build good Mind Stories for yourself, check out The Memory Imprint Journal HERE.

 

 

 

 

change

3 Ways to Help People Be Open to Change

Do you notice yourself dreading an upcoming change?  Maybe others in your life are feeling the same way?  Maybe you have to upgrade your software, adhere to a new tax law, or go through a renovation. It’s normal for people to resist these kinds of changes. The good news is that the latest research in neuroscience shows that installing these 3 mindsets can help and others you make the change with far more ease and effectiveness.

3 “Mindsets” That Help You and Others Better Handle Change

The trick is to install these mindsets in your subconscious mind, so that they go on autopilot. In other words, you don’t have to WILL yourself to be that way. It’s much like you’d install software in your computer. In fact, you are installing and uninstalling mindsets all the time anyway. Becoming aware of that process can make your life better and help you serve others at more profound levels.

Here are 3 powerful  ways for shifting your mindset around challenging change.

#1 – Change Your Physicality

Strangely enough how you sit, stand and move can powerfully influence your mindset regarding change. Here’s a short, fun video clip explaining this phenomenon:

 

#2 – Pretend You’re an Expert

The second one is a question you would ask yourself or your team. It’s a question which can break you free of a limiting view of yourself and your capacities. For example, I used to be a “technophobe”. I had a fear of technological things. Tech experts handled these things for me. And then one day no tech experts were available when I was getting an error message over and over again.  I was on a deadline, and so I was highly motivated to get a solution.

I asked myself “If I were a tech expert, what would I do that I’m not doing now?” That’s when an idea came to me. I pasted the error message into my search engine and found a solution. Most tech experts would roll their eyes and think “of course!”. But I didn’t view myself that way until I asked that question. After that, I started handling my own tech issues more and more. Now I consider myself a “technofile”. So, the next time you encounter a challenge ask yourself, “If I were an expert at solving this issue, what would I do that I’m not doing now?”

 

#3 – Imagine Benefits AFTER the Change

Our brains are hardwired to hold onto what’s familiar, even if it’s causing problems. Most people are holding on to things, people, places, jobs, things, timelines, systems, software, attitudes, and roles, that no longer serve them, just to avoid the discomfort of change. I had a private coaching client who refused to adopt the online work share service. He liked working on team projects using paper. His colleagues, however, were scattered across the country.  While everyone else was chatting and sharing documents online, he was trying to fax his handwritten notes to people. As a result, he got left out of the loop often and his work suffered.

We all have areas where we are holding on inappropriately, in big ways and small. What helps a person let go is usually to inspire them with the new possibility, trigger their imagination of how life could be better on the other side of the change. It can also help to get a practical experience of the benefits of the new.

In his case, we walked through the work share system together proving to him the time saving benefits. No one had done that with him at work. Everyone else on the team was a digital native and jumped into the new system right from the start. He was a digital immigrant who needed an interpreter and a guide so he could get a hands on experience of how much better it was than a fax. He happily adopted the new system after that.

If there is someone who is resisting change, how can you help them explore benefits awaiting them BEYOND the change?

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Do you have an upcoming event and need an inspiring speaker on the mindset of change?

Book Carla to speak at your next event. For more info click HERE.

 

 

 

 

 

Can You Tell a Great Story? Take the Quiz

As Daniel Pink, says “Storytellers rule the future”. If you are a manager, supervisor, salesperson, business owner or influencer of any kind, it can make all the difference. Why? Because stories:

• persuade people much better than concepts according to Harvard Business Review
• build empathy for your point of view according to the The Journal of Evolution & Technology
• switch people’s brains on instead of bore them according to The New York Times

Yet many of my clients say “I don’t know where to start!”

It helps to start by finding out where you are now in terms of storytelling skills.

TRY THE QUIZ!

It only takes a few minutes.

Download the Quiz.

Or, just use a piece of paper and follow along with the video:

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Want to upgrade your storytelling skills quickly?

On sale now is the Storytelling in Business Online Course. Here you get a step-by-step process, plus templates and demos to make you a master storyteller.

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