Category Archives for "Build Your Expert Business"

Had a Bad Public Speaking Experience? 3 Steps for Healing and Moving On

Every time that Sabrina even thinks about public speaking, she breaks out into a cold sweat, she starts to shake and her skin goes blotchy. It’s starting to becoming a problem for her. She wants to be able to speak to groups to build her career and business, but even the thought of talking to three people at the same time sends her into a tail-spin.

One day she had to get up and stand in front of three colleagues and give a short ten-minute presentation on a subject she knew like the back of her hand. It took her forever to start; she talked so fast she got through it in less than five minutes, couldn’t answer any questions afterwards and threw up after it was all done.

What can she do? If she doesn’t figure out why she has this knee-jerk reaction to public speaking soon, it may affect her career success badly. She knows that the way to success is to overcome it, but she can’t even figure out why it is happening!

Sabrina’s Not The Only One

Most people have a fear of speaking in public in one form or another, and it’s partly due to our survival brain going into overdrive. It’s only the last 70 years or so where a good majority of people had easy access to food and shelter. Before that, most generations of people weren’t even sure if they were going to eat that day! Everything in life was about having food, clothing and proper shelter to stay alive.

Our brains have been wired since the dawn of time to survive, and that meant being constantly aware of all the negative things that could happen and REMEMBER THEM. And that is where our reaction to public speaking comes in.

We all have a need to feel accepted and part of a group of people who will support us. We need it to survive! Wouldn’t you agree? But…

There are sneaky, dirty tricks that the school system uses to torture poor children and make them afraid, and they are called speeches and school plays. Every other subject on the face of the earth, they educate you in, from arithmetic to zoology. But they expect us to able to prepare a speech or memorize lines for a school play and deliver it flawlessly in front of a group of other children and adults waiting for us to screw up with no training whatsoever!

And when we mess up, and most of us do, it leaves a very, very, very bad memory in our mind. Our survival brain kicks in and tells us that public speaking is dangerous and will cause people to abandon you because you are just not good or strong enough. Remember that saying that only the strong survive!

I know that it is crazy. You are not going to die just because you gave a bad speech at school or froze up trying to act your three little lines for the school play. We rationally know it.  So anytime that you have to present, your survival brain kicks in and will do whatever it takes not to have a repeat of that childhood experience and guess what? You end up having a bad experience which reinforces the conclusion that you came to as a child. You are no good at public speaking, and you need to stay away from it…period.

But it doesn’t have to be that way, and the first step you take towards freedom is to recognize that. Realize that you were put into a situation that you shouldn’t have been, at an age where you weren’t emotionally prepared to deal with the consequences of it, and there was no training or support afterwards to help you process it properly.

You Are An Adult Now

As an adult, you can handle public speaking. As an adult, you are more than capable of learning new skills and implementing them. As an adult, you know who you are and have a the ability to forgive yourself for mistakes! LOL. As an adult, you can deal with things in a rational manner and recognize bad situations for what they are. Not life defining moments, but a few minutes in a lifetime of mostly good things.

Now before we go into the rest of the steps, there is one more area I want to cover. Maybe you didn’t have bad experiences in school; maybe your public speaking was ok or even good but other things can affect your ability to get up in front of a group of people.

How we were taught to perceive ourselves is a big one. Maybe people told you that you were too shy, or that you aren’t smart enough. Maybe every time you tried to speak to a group, people ignored you, and you though that nobody wants to listen to you. These are all things that get down into your subconscious and program you to be unsuccessful in that area.

We all have mental programming from the past, some of it good and some of it bad. Now is the time to get rid of the bad stuff so that you can move forward to become the public speaker you were meant to be. So whether it’s your survival brain acting up or bad subconscious programming, here are the steps you can take to overcome it and start having confidence in speaking.

Before I became the professional public speaker I am today; I was a shy, quiet, introverted person who hated public speaking. At one point, I had to get up in front of a small group of people for my job in a career centre and give a presentation. Let’s just say that I sweated profusely, and my hands shook so bad that I could barely hold the paper. It did not turn out well.

The wonderful thing was that instead of getting fired, my boss took me aside and gave me these great tips.

STEP #1 – Journal Every Day

Write Down Everything That Worked

Record things that you did well that day, especially anything that had to do with speaking. It is important to be constantly looking at the good in you.

Write Down An Area Where You Can Improve

Now the point of this is not to make a list of how bad you are. You want to write down one thing that you can work on the next day. One of the things I struggled with was avoiding eye contact with my audience. That was one area I worked on improving.

Write Down Areas of Strength & Places You Saw Improvement

Every time I spoke after that, my boss videoed it and we would watch it together. We would both write down where I was getting better and where I could improve. She had a much longer list of where I was getting better, and that helped me a lot.

As I did this, I started to believe in myself more and then my speaking improved. It was a positive self-fulfilling prophecy.

Step 2 – Program Your Brain for Success

To program your brain for success right before you go to speak. Find a calm place, and remember a time that you gave a presentation well. It doesn’t have to be to a group, but could be 1-to-1. Just make sure it was a good experience, or mainly a good experience. Use your imagination and go back into that memory. What did you see, hear and feel that made you feel good about the situation? Relive that moment. The subconscious mind can’t tell the difference between a real or imagined situation. It can be like loading the software for success to be successful again.

Step 3 – Have Compassion

If someone got up to speak and maybe they didn’t do so good, you would have compassion for them, right? You would recognize that they did the best they could, and they are just learning. So, try that with yourself.

No one is born an amazing speaker. Even those with natural talents have to practice to get excellent. Cut yourself some slack and remember that this is a learning process. Look for areas where you did well. What improved since last time? By doing this, you reinforce the positive and continue to make it stronger in your life.

You can become the speaker you want to be. It is possible. Don’t give up on your dreams. Take the action steps you need to improve and reward yourself for your persistence. You will never regret it.

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mij_solo_opaqueTry The Memory Imprint Journal for FREE (normally sold for $37).Just click HERE.  It will help you:

  • build up a positive self image when it comes public speaking
  • let go of bad memories
  • improve your confidence

 

 

 

Prospecting: 3 Tips for Building Your Confidence

one-to-one-meeting-asian-woman-with-white-manIf you have your own business, chances are you need to prospect regularly. You need to find and influence people to buy into your ideas, products, services or opportunities. Some people love this part of business, but a lot of people find it very challenging.
You can have all the strategies in the world, but if you lack belief in yourself, then those strategies are useless. Doubt and fear can make the whole process so much MORE challenging, if not impossible.
You may doubt the value of your offer (products, services, ideas, opportunities). You may doubt your own abilities to communicate about it properly. You may be judgmental of yourself when you make mistakes, and so you don’t learn from your setbacks.
Here is a solution that’s helped thousands of people break free of all that in 30 days. The Memory Imprint Journal is a downloadable 1-page PDF, that you fill out for 30 days in a row. And the good news is that it’s FREE, right now. It takes about 10 minutes a day. It will help you develop positive habits of mind in these 3 areas:
  1. Regular Appreciation of self, others and circumstances
  2. Finding Evidence of core beliefs changing for the better
  3. Bringing Good Memories back to the surface

Why do this?

Reason #1 –  Studies show that people who are happy with themselves and life in general are far better at prospecting, then people who are unhappy. Daily appreciations help “raise your vibration”, thus making you more magnetic for success.
Reason #2 – People who are successful at prospecting typical have these kinds of core beliefs:
  • Belief in Your Offer – believing in the value of your products, services, ideas or opportunities
  • Boldness – the self confidence to continue approaching people despite setbacks
  • Worthiness – feeling worthy of support, income, attention, success, etc.
  • Forgiveness – willingness to forgive yourself and others for inevitable mistakes along the way
  • Learning – willingness to learn from those mistakes, let go and move on
This part of the free Memory Imprint Journal will help you build those core beliefs, by noting evidence of those core beliefs showing up more and more in your life…because what you focus on grows!
Reason #3 – Successful people tend to reinforce memories of success versus memories of failure. Once you learn from your mistakes, it’s best to let them go. The problem is that the human mind tends to loop on negative memories, and tends to forget good memories.
You can change this default habit by purposefully retrieving good memories regularly. Writing them out kind of “saves” them to the front recesses of your mind. You can then easily retrieve them the next time you need to prospect. If you mainly remember times you were successful, chances are you will be successful again.
In this part of the Memory Imprint Journal, you write out examples of when you successfully prospected (for anything), for your business, or even buying into any idea, product, service you believed it. For example, maybe you simply opened someone’s mind to reading a book you like. It all counts to growing your self image in this skill.
Try it and see if you like. It’s best to do it right before bedtime. This 10 minutes a day (for 3o days) could change your life forever.
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Memory Imprint Journal
Just go HERE to get your FREE copy of
business presenter

Are You A Business Presenter? Do This Quick Public Speaking Quiz

Test your public speaking knowledge as a business presenter. Most people get a little anxious and some people get very anxious when giving presentations in a business setting.

If you want to become more confident when educating people about your business, then rehearsal makes ALL the difference. Whether you are presenting to one person or many, include stories and examples that you have crafted well and rehearsed many times over. This will make you  come across as more professional.

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Try the Memory Imprint Journal for free–do the 30 day challenge and watch your confidence levels change for good: https://mindstoryacademy.com/

How to Rewrite the Stories of Your Life

Have you ever told a story about yourself that was disempowering? And then you changed the story and now you feel empowered in the same situation?

If so, you have activated what I like to call your “Inner Storyteller” to work FOR you instead of against you. If you did it once, you can do it again. Think of a recent experience where you felt challenged or unresolved. It could be:

  1. Taking action on an important priority
  2. Resolving a disagreement
  3. Losing weight
  4. Lowering your debt
  5. Giving a presentation

For example, I considered myself a “technically challenged” person.  That was my story about myself. When I was a kid, my dad said that girls weren’t good at technical things. I totally bought into that story and left all the technical things  to him. Fast forward to being an adult, I’m living away from home.  My computer is giving me error messages.   I cannot continue my work until my tech geek friend comes to the rescue.

Then one day, my tech geek friend moves away to another city. I am on a deadline to get a project finished, and I am getting another error message. At that point, I either need to find someone else, miss my deadline or change my story about myself. I ask myself, “what would a tech geek do in my situation?” Then a transforming idea comes to mind. I type the error message into Google and discover a forum that explains how to fix the problem.   I try it and it works.

After that, I relied on my own ingenuity more and more. Now I consider myself a bit of a “tech geek” and people come to ME for help!

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Here’s the Exercise

You might have a mean-spirited Inner Storyteller seated in the back of your mind, dictating  stories that leave you feeling negative in some way.  It happens to almost everyone.

For example, imagine you give a presentation one day and it doesn’t go so well. Nothing too serious, it just didn’t seem to “land” with your listeners.  Your Inner Storyteller starts interpreting the event.

  • You’re bad at giving presentations.
  • You went on WAY too long about those statistics.
  • Those people are just idiots.

There’s a campy TV show called “Once Upon a Time”.  It features fairytale characters from well-known stories who all end up living in a small town together in Maine called “Storybrooke”. At one point in the series, the characters discover that there is a Storyteller dictating their lives. At first they seek out that Storyteller to get him to rewrite the story in their favour. And then they realize they could just get ahold of the “quill” and rewrite the story themselves.

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You can do the same

Imagine you could get the quill from the Inner Storyteller and rewrite the story of your presentation experience.  This first requires changing the perspective through which you interpret the event.

For example, instead of looking at the event through the lens of “What went WRONG?”  you could look through the lens of “What went RIGHT?” If so, it might go something like this:

  • It went better than last time.
  • You remembered everything you wanted to say.
  • You finished the presentation on time.

Alternatively, you could look through the lens of “What could I learn from this?” and speak from the first person:

  • Next time I will rehearse more.
  • I could add some examples to those statistics.
  • I could find out the goals of my listeners and make sure I address those better next time.

Now you might have a different story about your presentation. It could be “that was a good learning experience”  instead of “that was a failure”.

Of course, this is common wisdom that you may have heard many times over. BUT, it’s one thing to know it intellectually, and it’s another thing to apply it practically to your everyday life.

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Action Item

I challenge you to try this activity right now.  It takes one minute. Pick an area of your life where you are seeing it from a negative perspective. Ask yourself “What went right?” “What could I learn?” and write out your answers in a short story form. This doesn’t mean you ignore problems, but you stop dwelling on them. You simply learn from them and move on.

If you do this enough, you will train your Inner Storyteller to work FOR you instead of against you. Enjoy!

Let me know if you try it and what happened.

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If you’d like to learn more of these kinds of tools check out The Mind Story Program: https://storycoach.online/mind-story-buy-now/

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THE SPEAKER MARKETING COURSE

public-speaking-700x325
Become a sought-after speaker — even if you’re not famous  or have a PhD
Make a difference with your message AND have the income and lifestyle of your dreams
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Join us for this 5 Module online course with Carla Rieger and guest teachers.
Just go to https://carlarieger.com/members/get-speaking-gigs/ for more information and to enroll.
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This is a certificate program for how to market public speakers.
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WHO IS THIS FOR?
  • If you are just entering the world of speaking this will give you the foundation you need to succeed quickly.
  • If you’ve been on the speaking circuit for a while you will discover insider secrets that even some top speakers don’t know.
  • If you are an author, coach, consultant, business owner or network marketer – then public speaking gigs will grow your business exponentially
  • If you are wanting to make your living as a motivational speaker or expert speaker, this course will show you how
  • This course is also good for agents and speaker assistants who want to become certified in Speaker Marketing
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HOW DOES IT WORK?
The course is virtual so you can access it anywhere in the world as long as you have internet. You can also access the material on mobile devices. You have a chance to interact with the instructor and other participants in a variety of engaging ways.
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HOW DO I REGISTER?
Just go to https://carlarieger.com/members/get-speaking-gigs/ for more information and to enroll.