Mind Story: A 3 Step Process to Get Unstuck

Written by Carla Rieger on . Posted in Mindsets for Success, Personal Growth, Success Stories

unstuck

Last year, I was traveling and speaking a lot. At one point, I got into a panic about missing my flight. I’m getting off one flight and realize I only have 56 minutes to get to my next flight. I discover I have to leave security. Exit the terminal. Take a bus to the next terminal. Go through security again to my gate. I get to security and the line is a mile long. My flight is leaving in 18 minutes.

I start to panic. Even if I jump to the front of the line, there’s still a 15 minute walk AFTER I get through security. Of course when you panic your brain capacity goes down, and you tend to catastrophize. I start envisioning missing my flight and therefore missing my speaking engagement and all the negative consequences of that reality. Then I took a deep breath which, I know, can shift brain chemistry. I remembered about this Mind Story process to get “unstuck”.

It’s 3 simple steps:

#1 – NEGATIVE MINDSET. I identified the negative mindset “I am worried I won’t make my flight”.

#2 – POSITIVE MINDSET. I chose an opposite mindset “I have chosen to be confident that I can make my flight.”

#3 – MIND STORY. I remember a time I was in a similar situation and DID make my flight. It was 11 years earlier and I relived exactly what happened. I asked an airline rep to fast track me the whole way there. I doubted this would work again since I couldn’t see an airline rep anywhere in sight. I left my place in the line and told a security agent about my plight. He whipped me through the priority lane. Then they escorted me to an airline rep standing on the other side of security. She hailed down an airport golf cart. While I was speeding my way to the gate, she contacted the gate agent who was just closing the door. They held it open five more minutes. I arrived just in time for my flight.

Have you ever noticed that people often think they can’t solve a problem because of an external circumstance, when it’s actually their mindset? By remembering a time I was in a similar situation before, it helped me solve the situation again. You may be thinking, that’s just common sense.  However, you’d be surprised at how often people lose their common sense when they are letting a negative mindset such as worry, overwhelm or confusion dictate their thinking.

You can use this 3 step Mind Story process on yourself, or with others. You can use it to solve a simple situation like the story above or a more complex situation like how to solve a cash flow crisis or how to make a life changing decision.

Here’s how you’d use it to help someone else. I was working with a client who was disappointed because he’d pitched himself as a consultant to a huge company and lost to a  competitor. Here’s how I worked with him.

Step #1 – NEGATIVE MINDSET: I had him state his negative mindset in this way “I am + negative mindset + the situation”. For example, “I am disappointed about losing the deal”.

Step #2 – POSITIVE MINDSET: Then, I had him state the opposite, positive mindset that would help him find a better solution, “I have chosen to be + positive mindset + situation resolving”. He said, “I have chosen to be confident that I can learn from the situation and bounce back.”

This seemed strange at first to him, because he wasn’t feeling confident. However, as the old saying goes “You cannot solve a problem with the same mindset that created it.” The trick here is to help a person manufacture the new mindset, attitude, feeling, perception, by stating it in this way. By doing that, you help them create a magnet from the negative to the positive. It’s much like a circuit needs both negative and positive polarities to create electricity. The meeting of the two opposites then creates the spark for a solution.

Step #3 – TELL A MIND STORY: I asked him to tell me a story about a time he overcame a similar situation in the past. This is called a “Mind Story”. It’s a story that opens up new possibilities in the conscious AND subconscious mind of the listener. I asked him to include a beginning, middle and end. The beginning is what happened before he created a solution. The middle is what he did to create the solution. And the end is what it looked like after he implemented the solution. For example, he said:

Last year I almost got the TCU deal and lost to a different competitor. I had worked days on that proposal. I’d done 3 meetings. I was short-listed, and very hopeful. When I lost the deal I lost my enthusiasm. I got sick. I wanted to quit being a consultant. Then a friend told me about another company looking for a consultant like me and the deadline for the proposal was 2 days away. I shrugged off my disappointment and got the proposal done on time and landed the deal.

After he told me the story I asked him, “So, what would you do in this situation?”

He said, “Clearly I think it would work for me to just going on another proposal, rather than wallow in regret. It’s a numbers game.”

Off he went. Disappointment gone. Back in the saddle.

Does it always work quickly like that? No. But if it doesn’t work right away, chances are it will later. Sometimes you have to do it a few times, in more complex ways. These are just simple examples, using a short version of the Mind Story tools, for the sake of brevity. Stories bypass the judgmental mind and can open up a conversation between your subconscious and conscious mind. That way you are less likely to be stopped by limiting beliefs that can keep you stuck.

Enjoy and let me know if you try it

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WANT TO SHARPEN YOUR STORYTELLING SKILLS? On sale right now is The Storytelling in Business Course. It’s for anyone who wants to communicate to people in a business setting using more stories instead of boring concepts. For example, when motivating and coaching your team, when talking to a prospective customer or client. Normally it is $298, but you can get it for only $48 for a very limited time. Just click here for more details https://courses.carlarieger.com/storytelling-in-business/

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Top Presenters Use “Mind Stories” to Engage and Activate Their Listeners

Written by Carla Rieger on . Posted in Free Stuff, Mindsets for Success, Personal Growth, Public Speaking, Storytelling, Success Stories

presenters

A “Mind Story” engages listeners at the level of values and core beliefs. As such these kinds of stories can activate people in positive ways. By contrast, a regular story told by a presenter might be interesting but doesn’t change people at a core level.

For example, you may remember the book series “Chicken Soup for the Soul” by Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield. These books included stories that touch people at the level of soul, heart, emotions, values. You may like some of these stories and not others. It depends on your values and personality. However, stories that just appeal to the linear, logical, analytical mind tend to not stick with people in the same way.

Mind Stories are metaphors, anecdotes or stories that reprogram people for good or bad. Therefore, you must use them responsibly. They work much like software in a computer and are a universal language everyone understands at the subconscious level. Therapists and counsellors have been using Therapeutic Metaphors for decades. For example, if a client is dealing with the untimely death of a spouse, the therapist might tell the story of a rose garden with two roses. One gets dug up and removed to another location, and what transpires because of that. In hearing the story, often the client will find a new and more helpful perspective on their situation that they might not otherwise be able to see.  You can use Mind Stories to help students solve problems, help coaching clients transform an issue, and even sell products and services that your prospects need.

Mind Stories are usually better than common sales talk.  In a Mind Story you relate real life instances to real people, thereby showing them how the benefits might play out their life. They see the product as a solution instead of simply a commodity. They make the buying decision it’s the right fit for them versus feeling manipulated. As a result, there is far less buyers regret.

Mind Stories also show us how to change our perspective at will, and break us free of programming that’s keeping us stuck. That’s why using a Mind Story as a speaker at a live event, on a webinar, in a video, with a coaching or consulting client and in a sales conversation, is good for you and for the listener. As long as what you’re teaching or promoting holds value for the listener, these kinds of stories will help clear up misunderstandings and objections.

You can also use Mind Stories for your own personal and professional development. The stories we tell ourselves can make or break our success. For example, I had two coaching clients who were both speaking at the same event. One was telling herself a story about how she wasn’t ready and how the audience wasn’t going to like her talk. The other client was telling himself a different story. It was about how he WAS ready and how the audience was going to love his talk. During our rehearsals the first client fell to pieces and the second client did very well. The story you tell yourself greatly affects your performance.

With my first client we worked on two new Mind Stories. One from her past, where she relived a public speaking success from the year before. I also helped her mentally rehearse how she wanted it to go, thereby creating a new story for her future. As a result, her performance on the actual day was 10x better and people got tremendous value from her talk.

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If you’d like to check out a free process to build good Mind Stories for yourself, check out The Memory Imprint Journal HERE.

 

 

 

 

3 Ways to Help People Be Open to Change

Written by Carla Rieger on . Posted in Communication & Conflict Resolution, Creativity & Innovation, Leadership, Mindsets for Success, Success Stories, Videos

change

Do you notice yourself dreading an upcoming change?

Maybe others in your life are feeling the same way?

Think of the last time you had to upgrade your software, or adhere to a new tax law, or go through a renovation. It’s normal for people to resist changes over which they have little or no choice.

 

Certain “Mindsets” Help you Handle Change Better

The latest research in neuroscience shows that installing certain mindsets can make a HUGE difference. They can improve your ability to make change work FOR you, instead of AGAINST you. The trick is to install these mindsets in your subconscious mind, so that they go on autopilot. In other words, you don’t have to WILL yourself to be that way. It’s much like you’d install software in your computer. In fact, you are installing and uninstalling mindsets all the time anyway. Becoming aware of that process can make your life better and help you serve others at more profound levels.

Here are 3 powerful  ways for shifting your mindset around challenging change.

#1 – Change Your Physicality

Strangely enough how you sit, stand and move can powerfully influence your mindset regarding change. Here’s a short, fun video clip explaining this phenomenon:

 

#2 – Pretend You’re an Expert

The second one is a question you would ask yourself or your team. It’s a question which can break you free of a limiting view of yourself and your capacities. For example, I used to be a “technophobe”. I had a fear of technological things. Tech experts handled these things for me. And then one day no tech experts were available when I was getting an error message over and over again.  I was on a deadline, and so I was highly motivated to get a solution.

I asked myself “If I were a tech expert, what would I do that I’m not doing now?” That’s when an idea came to me. I pasted the error message into my search engine and found a solution. Most tech experts would roll their eyes and think “of course!”. But I didn’t view myself that way until I asked that question. After that, I started handling my own tech issues more and more. Now I consider myself a “technofile”. So, the next time you encounter a challenge ask yourself, “If I were an expert at solving this issue, what would I do that I’m not doing now?”

 

#3 – Imagine Benefits AFTER the Change

Our brains are hardwired to hold onto what’s familiar, even if it’s causing problems. Most people are holding on to things, people, places, jobs, things, timelines, systems, software, attitudes, and roles, that no longer serve them, just to avoid the discomfort of change. I had a private coaching client who refused to adopt the online work share service. He liked working on team projects using paper. His colleagues, however, were scattered across the country.  While everyone else was chatting and sharing documents online, he was trying to fax his handwritten notes to people. As a result, he got left out of the loop often and his work suffered.

We all have areas where we are holding on inappropriately, in big ways and small. What helps a person let go is usually to inspire them with the new possibility, trigger their imagination of how life could be better on the other side of the change. It can also help to get a practical experience of the benefits of the new.

In his case, we walked through the work share system together proving to him the time saving benefits. No one had done that with him at work. Everyone else on the team was a digital native and jumped into the new system right from the start. He was a digital immigrant who needed an interpreter and a guide so he could get a hands on experience of how much better it was than a fax. He happily adopted the new system after that.

If there is someone who is resisting change, how can you help them explore benefits awaiting them BEYOND the change?

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Do you have an upcoming event and need an inspiring speaker on the mindset of change?

Book Carla to speak at your next event. For more info click HERE.

 

 

 

 

 

Can You Tell a Great Story? Take the Quiz

Written by Carla Rieger on . Posted in Build Your Expert Business, Communication & Conflict Resolution, Creativity & Innovation, Employee Engagement & Team Building, Leadership, Public Speaking, Storytelling, Success Stories, Videos

As bestselling author, Daniel Pink, says “Storytellers rule the future”. If you are a manager, supervisor, salesperson, business owner or motivator of any kind, it can make all the difference. Why? Because stories:

• persuade people much better than concepts (Harvard Business Review)
• build empathy for your point of view instead of judgment (The Journal of Evolution & Technology)
• switch people’s brains on instead of bore them (The New York Times)

Yet many of my clients tell me they don’t know where to start. Let’s start with finding out where you are now. Take the Quiz. Use a piece of paper or download and print this 1 page quiz. Then follow along with the video:

1 Page Quiz (PDF) https://s3.amazonaws.com/Storytelling/Blog-Quiz-Storytelling+in+Business.pdf

Get the Storytelling in Business Program and for step-by-step support, templates and demos that make you a mastery storyteller. http://carlarieger.com/store/speakers-programs/storytelling-in-business-program/

An author, speaker & coach wanted exponential growth

Written by Carla Rieger on . Posted in Build Your Expert Business, Success Stories

One client had a successful career as an accountant while also occasionally leading training programs for various groups. But she was unhappy and felt stuck and wanted things to change, but wasn’t sure how. As part of the coaching process we helped her peel back the layers of limiting beliefs so that she could see what she really wanted to be doing with her life. What she discovered was that she wanted to leave behind her accounting practice and be more of a speaker and educator. She loved the idea of traveling, educating people, and exploring more of the creative side of her personality. She also loved the idea of increasing her income, and in particular receiving passive income by turning all her years of accounting and small business consulting into products.

When we first started working together we had to distill down her topic and target market. She was trying to offer too many small business management topics for too many types of people in too many industries– making it hard to sell her services. When you are niched, you tend to expand your business rapidly. I asked her which of her many training programs had the combination of getting the most positive feedback, and being the one she most loved to present. That ended up being about how to Systematize Your Business so you are not your business, but could have others running it while you still were the main owner. This would free people up to work less or sell their business at a profit if necessary.

Then we looked at the wide range of industries she worked for. We looked at which one had the overlap of being most in need of this solution, having the financial means to pay for it, and the group that she most loved working with. This turned out to be the health and wellness industry. Then we worked at turning her training and consulting into a one hour engaging, entertaining keynote with one specific message that would attract people to buy her products and services. That required research, guidance, and practice over time. Together we loosened up her dry style of educating– she thought that if you are an accountant talking about numbers that you had to be boring — which turned out not to be true. We made her more into more the entertainer she really wanted to be. Then with my team we helped re-create her web site, marketing copy and created for her a step by step process for getting speaking engagements. Together we worked on a one minute, four-minute and 18 minute presentations. As part of the Inner Circle coaching she got a chance to do her 18 minute presentation in front of an audience and we videotaped it.

She got the feedback that was so important not only from her audience, but from herself. It was a big hit. This gave her the confidence to move forward. Plus she now had video footage for her website and YouTube. Three months after that she started getting at least one speech a month and only spoke at Health and Wellness industry events—so the word of mouth grew. Three years after that she was living her dream life. She is working almost exclusively as a speaker and trainer getting to travel to big industry events in the West Indies and Europe. Her income has quadrupled– going from low six figures to a seven figure income, and she is earning over half her income from passive sources. Since she turned the speech she created into a book, audio and video program. This has given her a much more leisurely lifestyle that has allowed her more time with her family, for exercise, travel and to make a much bigger difference for far more people.

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