The “Inner Game” of Time Management

Whenever I survey individuals and organizations on their top three challenges at work, I almost always hear that there is too much to do and not enough time. And I’ve heard the same thing for the last 20 years. Even with all the brilliant time management systems out there, even with all the highly innovative and smart people doing the work, and even with all the time-saving technology available to us. It begs the question: “Is time management about doing something different or about being something different–or both?” My answer is that it’s both, but there has been an over focus on the outer game of time management and not enough on the inner game.

The Myth of Time Scarcity

Now I realize this is the antithesis of traditional time management, where it’s all about willing yourself to move faster, prioritizing and sticking to your agenda, etc. But if time management were only about what you do, then why do some people seem calm and centered and others seem flustered when faced with the same deadline?

Have you ever been waiting for an elevator and it seems to take an eternity, especially when you are in a hurry? Conversely, have you ever been on a vacation that was filled with amazing adventures and a month seems like a week? As Kermit the Frog once said, “Times flies when you’re having fun, and time’s also fun when you’re having flies.”

Looking at it from the big picture, clocks reduce time and make it finite. But what is time, but life itself? Time is actually your experience. By measuring time, it turns a succession of unique moments into a number and distances us from our subjective experience.

Lewis Mumford once said, “The clock, not the steam engine heralded the industrial age.” The more finely we measured time, first into hours, then minutes and seconds, the less we seem to have of it and the more the clock usurped sovereignty over our experience of life, until today when we are all — on the clock. Yet industry and business require a precise coordination of human activity. It’s hard to imagine how we could function in our organizations without the clock.

Can We Function in Society and Still Experience the Luxury of Being Unhurried?

This particular conundrum has been fascinating me lately. I grew up in the “hurry” family. I watched my parents race from one activity to the next, living under a sense of constant pressure. Naturally, I followed suit and lived my adult life this way, too. That is, of course, until reading the latest research on hormone imbalances–could it be motivated by the fear of hitting menopause without my hormones in balance? Aging — yet another reason to fear time

Some studies suggest that raised cortisol levels over extended periods of time cause hormone imbalances. Cortisol is a hormone your body produces when you are feeling hurried, inpatient, or overwhelmed, among other things. This requires the body to leech other hormones to regain balance, which eventually leads to long-term imbalances. Hormone imbalances in both men and women cause an enormous array of physical and mental problems that we are only beginning to be aware of.

To that end, over the last few years I decided to experiment with taking up to two months off every year so I could experience the luxury of an unhurried existence. The happiness, creative insights, health and well being I experienced were beyond belief. Yet, as soon as I came back to work I readopted the hurried state of mind. Finally, I asked myself and my clients, “Can we function in society and also experience the luxury of an unhurried existence?” I decided it was a worthy enough experiment, and have been surveying people and researching this topic ever since. Here is my summation of the top 2 ways to do that. For the 3rd best way view my previous blog post on Breathing:

1. Keep Things Handy for Idle Times

Make a list of regular activities that trigger you into feeling impatient. I used to get very impatient in traffic but then I realized I can use this time to be productive or get entertained. I decided to start listening to audio books. If I want a book now I go to a service like Audible to see if they have the book as an MP3. In fact, now I sometimes can hardly wait till I get to drive so I can listen to the next part of my book. Keep small things handy like your mp3 player, a book, or a notepad. Idle time can become brainstorming time. I often create a list of things I want to find a solution to. This could be a new business idea, a relationship problem I want to think through, thoughts about a new blog post or anything else that needs a good thought process. I brainstorm on all possible solutions, and choose my favourite idea and start action planning it.

2. Practice Letting Go Every Day

One of the most important skills you can ever learn is to let go of thoughts that don’t serve you. It will entirely change your life. As David Wagoner says in his wonderful poem, Lost: “What do you do when you’re lost in the forest? Stand still. The trees ahead, the bushes beside you are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here.” The point is that when you’re overwhelmed and lost, stand still. Back up to a place where you feel good, then you will begin to activate the neocortex. Usually when you feel hurried you are operating from the Reptilian Complex, where you are much less innovative, efficient, and able to focus.

Most of us treat time as a precious commodity in short supply. Time is precious, but it’s only scarce if you believe it is. Taking your time ironically lets you operate at a higher level of efficiency. So whenever you find yourself rushing try letting go of the belief in time scarcity and act as if you have all the time the world. Try it for 5 minutes and see what happens. The phenomenon may seem strange but here’s why it works so well. When you are rushing, chances are you are doing one thing while thinking about something else – like where you need to be, where you’d prefer to be. This kind of mental activity prevents us from being present with the job at hand. By actually becoming present, time seems to expand. It’s all in the experience.

If you find it hard to let go of unhelpful beliefs, check out the Sedona Method. It’s one of those easy things you can do anywhere, anytime, everyday. After a while a sense of time expansion can become your default way of being.

What very mysterious things days are. Sometimes they fly by, and other times they seem to last forever, yet they are all exactly twenty-four hours. There’s quite a lot we don’t know about them. Melanie Benjamin, Alice I Have Been

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If you’d like to help the people in your organization be better at the “inner game” of time management, give us a call at 1-866-294-2988 (1-604-222-2276). Or check out our web site for more tips and free articles.

One reason could be that your idea wasn’t as well thought through as possible and didn’t include input from stakeholders. One of the top mistakes change leaders make is trying to “plant the wrong seed”. It usually happens when you don’t take the time to properly evaluate your idea before presenting it to others. Below is a short process you can use to choose an idea and to make sure it serves all those concerned.

The Vitare Process for Choosing the Right Idea for Change

What is Not Working?

What is happening in your area of work that isn’t working? Be as specific as possible. E.g., Planning committee meetings are ineffective; lack of follow up on the X campaign; poor communication between the development team and the sales team; having to use outdated software; etc. List at least 3 if possible.

What Can You Change?

Which of these is something that could actually change if you got buy-in from others? In other words, don’t choose something completely outside of your control like the weather and also don’t choose something that you could solve by yourself such as re-prioritizing your work. E.g., “Planning committee meetings are ineffective.”

Create Your Ideal Outcome

What is your ideal outcome? What is the opposite of what you wrote in #2? E.g., “Planning committee meetings are ineffective.” becomes “Make planning committee meetings more effective.”

List the Costs

What are the costs involved in staying stuck about this situation? How is this issue affecting other areas of work, home or personal life? It’s usually some version of: lack of well-being, lowered productivity, poor relationships, less creativity, negative attitudes, poor service, etc. E.g. we are way behind schedule, people dislike the meetings, people are getting annoyed with each other, etc.

List the Benefits

What might be the benefits of finding a new idea or solution? Again, it’s usually some version of improved well-being, better productivity and service, improved relationships, better vitality, more creativity and resourcefulness, etc.  E.g. we could get back on schedule, people will enjoy the meetings more often, the relationships of the team will improve, we will get more done in less time, etc.

Brainstorm

List as many ways as possible to create your ideal outcome. The more ideas the better. Include obvious, bad, good, mundane, silly or even weird ideas.

Choose the top 3 ideas

Look at the list above and choose your top 3.  Write out your possible solution below as succinctly as possible. E.g., Make meetings more effective by

1. Create an agenda
2. Get input from attendees about the agenda before the meeting
3. Establish guidelines for interacting during the meeting (e.g. staying curious, being on time, etc).

List Stakeholders

Make a list of all the stakeholders (all the people who will be affected by this solution). E.g. In addition to your team members, include those you serve and those you report to, etc.

Set the right intention

Make sure your solution will work for as many stakeholders as possible. Look at your top 3 ideas for a solution, then on a scale of 1 to 10 rate how beneficial this would be for all stakeholders? 1 = not at all, 10 = totally beneficial.

Improve the Idea

How could you alter the solution to be more beneficial for more stakeholders? For example, after standing in the shoes of other people on your team you may have a way to improve your idea even more. E.g. Assign a leader for each meeting and establish a series of guidelines for them to follow when both preparing for and facilitating the meeting.

Elicit Feedback from Stakeholders

People support what they help create. How can you best elicit feedback from key stakeholders? People love giving input on things that affect their lives. Plus, their input can further improve your solution and help increase buy in for all concerned. Send out a survey, bring it up for discussion, do a brainstorming session, make a phone call, etc. Ask for their feedback in this way:

1. State the problem in as factual and non-blaming a way as possible
2. List the costs
3. State your ideal outcome
4. List the benefits
5. Offer your solution as one possibility
6. Ask for their ideas as well

Use stakeholder feedback to further improve your idea.

Then, do you notice that when you are in a low mood that life can feel stuck and more full of conflict? You see mostly obstacles. You can act petty. You take yourself and life very seriously and feel as if the world is out to get you.

Most humans have a shadow side, a split persona to one degree or another. Being able to have more choice about who will run the show can be one of the most important life lessons you will ever learn.
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Here is Carla talking about some tips for dealing with conflict at work or at home:

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What neuro-science is now telling us

Neil Slade has a great way of explaining neuro-science in practical, layman terms. When you are in a low mood the energy of your brain resides more in what neuro-scientists call “The Reptilian Complex”.

The brain has three layers:

1. The Reptilian Complex is the inner core: This is where we get our instinct to survive, fight, flee, gain territory and reproduce.

2. The Limbic System is the next layer: This is where we get our urge to nurture, to love, to join with others and follow laws and rules.

3. The Neo-cortex is the outer brain: This is where we get the skills to make peace between the R-Complex and the Limbic System, the ability to forgive and to temper justice with mercy, to reason and see the big picture. The frontal lobes of the neo-cortex in particular help you do your best problem solving and decision making.

While we need to have all parts of our brain functioning in order to thrive and survive, most people when under stress revert to the Reptilian Complex. They are disconnected from the more outer parts of the brain. Being able to trigger the frontal neo-cortex can put you in a good mood and help you be your better self more often.

How do you know when the Reptilian Complex is running the show?

The Reptilian Complex is more likely to be active during change, challenge and conflict, but can appear at any time. Learn to notice when that is happening. Usually you feel more tense, worried, fearful, distrustful, and hyper-vigilant. In short you feel like fighting or fleeing. Few situations in modern society require the Reptilian Complex to be running the show completely. Yet that’s where a lot of people are operating from a lot of the time.

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What can trigger the “petty self”?

Many factors can contribute to you getting more easily triggered such as:

1. Multitasking or having your awareness scattered.

2. Hormonal imbalances (in both men and women).

3. Excess toxins in your body from health issues or from stimulants such as coffee, alcohol, sugar and other drugs (both pharmaceutical and recreational).

4. Little or no reflection time.

5. Unresolved issues (at any age).

6. Psychological habits picked up from your family or society.

7. Lack of exercise.

8. Sleep deprivation.

9. Dehydration.

10. Feeling hungry or undernourished. Blood sugar imbalances.

11. A habit of shallow breathing or mouth breathing.

12. Not examining the validity of your thoughts.

13. Unexpressed creativity.

14. Lack of meaning in one’s life.

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Tips for activating your more “graceful self”

Here are a few tips for activating the brain to move from the Reptilian-complex to the frontal neo-cortex. Make sure you do something to put yourself in a better frame of mind before dealing with a conflict. For particularly high stakes conversations email us at carla@artistryofchange.com for a free copy of the Preparing to Have a Courageous Conversation worksheet.

1. Laughing and having fun. Laughter opens up the whole brain. Find the lighter side of the situation. Search YouTube for comedians you love. Call or talk to someone is good at making you laugh.

2. Paying attention to the present moment without interpreting it (E.g. like when you are focussed on a task you love or appreciating a sunset)

3. Focussing on one thing at a time Don’t try to deal with conflict when your focus is scattered, for example while trying to drive your car or while checking email.

4. Giving yourself the amount of sleep that your body wants (usually 7-8 hours for most adults). Wait til your rested before having an important conversation.

5. Asking “What’s good?” Ask yourself “What’s good about this situation?” What might you be learning from this conflict? What might be a great outcome from sorting out this issue?

6. Releasing negative thinking loops EMDR or Emotional Freedom Technique can help you release stuck negativity and trauma. Also, many conflicts result from escalating a small issue into a large one through an over-active imagination. The work of Byron Katie or The Sedona Method are useful for helping people examine the validity of their thoughts.

7. Doing regular exercise .Do something active before an important conversation to help release toxins from the body and increase the oxygen levels in your body.

8. Nourishing your body on a regular basis with good, nutritious food. Make sure your blood sugar levels are normalized before starting an important conversation. Drinking 8 glasses of purified water a day and stay hydrated during conflict. This will help your brain work more efficiently.

9. Creating meaning and purpose in your life. Explore your purpose and live your life from that value system as much as possible. As Les Brown once said, “If you know the why for living you can endure almost any how.”

10. Having a creative or recreational outlet. Singing, dancing, writing, art, gardening, golf, tennis, skiing, etc. These activities will keep you in your “graceful” self more often.

11. Getting inspired daily. Leave inspirational literature by your bedside. Watch inspirational movies or listen to inspirational audio programs. Watch inspiring speakers on TED or just type in “inspirational speech” or “motivational speech” into YouTube.

12. Practicing conscious breathing Try typing in “conscious breathing techniques” into YouTube and follow the instructions.

13. Getting regular physical contact. Loving touch activates the whole brain (E.g. Hugs, kisses and massage)

14. Getting organized and defining your work more clearly (try David Allen’s Getting Things Done)

15. Surrounding yourself with people who are generally optimistic and good-natured. The moods and thoughts of others can impact your well being. Establish healthy boundaries with people who like to create drama and conflict.

16. Thinking in possibilities. If you feel stuck about how to solve a problem ask yourself “If I were exceptional at solving this problem I would…”

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Do you have a tip to share?

If you have an example of how you activate your best self please let us know. It just might inspire others. Please email it to carla@artistryofchange.com

Congratulations to Jan and her team!

“We are the regional office of a Commercial Insurance Company with a staff of 68 people.  We did some “Christmas Challenges” for fun during the holidays.  Employees were to check their e-mail at certain times during the day to find out what that day’s challenge would be.

One of these challenges was to build a “snowman” using only items from your desk.  The rules were, you had 10 minutes to create your snowman and bring it to the breakroom.  You were not allowed to get up from your desk to get supplies from other desks or the supply cabinet, and you were not allowed to use any Christmas decorations that you might already have at your desk for the holidays.

We had a small panel of “judges” and gave small prizes for the most creative snowmen.  Attached are a couple of photos that show a few of these creations. “

Don Isaac from District of West Vancouver submitted 5 entries- “The Phone Less Cord,” “Don Goofiness,” “Sea Monkey Burial at Sea,” “Tree and Boots” and “Glass Eye Collection.” Don and his team won Honorable Mention for these great entries!

The Phone Less Cord

“The Phone less cord” was a stolen humour joke. I sent the photo to management stating that I found a new electronic device that would save us money on phone calls. (A phone less cord)”

Don Goofiness

“Don Goofiness was taken on the day (Halloween) when the new Municipal Manager was coming for a tour of our Cemetery. He had never met us and so he didn’t know what we looked like. I walked over to the next building to greet him with the mask and hat and present him with a treat. (granola bar)  The trick was I actually look fairly similar to what the mask hides (be it the mask has more hair)  I try wear this mask every Halloween in the office for staff only.  You should see what we do on April Fool’s Day. “

Sea Monkey Burial at Sea

“Sea Monkey Burial at Sea was taken a few years back. It came to be from a present we received from a Summer/Seasonal employee. He thought we needed a mascot/pet at the Cemetery. We couldn’t have a pet that moved like a cat etc. due to them setting off the motion sensors connected to the alarm system. Sea Monkeys were the solution and quite popular (we had them as kids) until the sad day when we had to say goodbye. Being Sea Monkeys they had to be buried at sea and so we introduced them to it. We even had a little stick puppet snowman say a few words.”

Tree and Boots

“Tree and Boots was a set up photo. Over night we had a ornamental plum tree fall down and so before we cut it up and removed it, I positioned my rain boots under it and took a photo. I eventually sent a copy of it to my friend the District Health and Safety Officer with the remarks I hate when this happens. “

Glass Eye Collection

“Glass Eye Collection” is just another sample of Cemetery Humour “

The next two images were contributed by Genalyn Fisher, from Alberta Health Services – Community Health .

“Here is a picture with the staff wearing costumes on Halloween…

…we had a pumpkin carving contest and then auctioned them off, the money raised went to the women’s shelter.”

The rules were to send in a photo of something that created fun in your workplace. After all, joy, laughter and appreciation are great ways to get the creative brain working more effectively, and it’s also a great way to boost morale through the winter blues!

The first entry below is from Cheryl Stafford at BC Children’s Hospital Foundation

Kitty Litter and Fingers Dessert

winner of Carla’s honorable mention award! (A Far Side Book)

Cheryl writes, this is “From our Halloween Potluck which almost all staff attended – kitty litter and fingers (desserts).  The kitty litter actually won an award for most creative / best food!  It was pudding and cake with tootsie rolls!”

The next submission is also from Cheryl Stafford at BC Children’s Hospital Foundation

Pin the nose on Knut

“From our Holiday Open House – we had a number of games going on such as “wack a penguin” – electronic set up in one of our meeting rooms and pin the nose on Knut (he’s one of our VP’s).  The picture is of Knut before the red dot noses were put on him for the contest.  Contestants were blindfolded and had to walk up and place a red circle sticker on the picture – closest to the nose won! “

Ed DeBruyn from Fisheries and Oceans Canada challenged his staff in the district offices in Ontario to submit pictures of their best decorated doors. His organization held their own internal contest with prizes.  Check out one of the successful door designs below:

The Nightmare Before Christmas

The next photo was sent in by Narinder Serown, from BC Community Corrections

Narinder at Work

Narinder writes “here’s a picture of me for the Fun at Work contest.  This was taken shortly after I arrived at the Kamloops Community Corrections office.  This was sent around to my former colleagues and it created a few chuckles.”

Michelle Nelson from Tap Communications Inc., an advertising and communications company in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan also won a Honorable Mention for her photo contribution

Amazing Race

Michelle writes “Last year we held a car rally with different points around the city where we had to race to in order to gather clues to the next location. We had so much fun at that party that we decided to invite spouses in on the fun for our 2008 party, but to change it to a foot race so that it would be a safer event. “

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