http://www.mindsetmasteryseminars.com/artistryofchange

Have you ever ironically rushed to do something that’s supposed to be relaxing–such as a spa appointment, vacation or to get to sleep? For many people this happens regularly.

What if I just rushed faster?

The trap of rushing faster usually creates more problems. I used think that if I just worked longer hours and rushed faster that the feeling of overwhelm would eventually subside. But I now notice that never really works over the long term, because the rate of change is just speeding up and rushing faster is an impossible expectation. There is a deeper, more powerful and longer lasting solution.

80% of the reason you feel overwhelmed is because of your mindset

I have discovered that regularly feeling overwhelmed is just a bad habit of mind and actually a cultural transfer for which I pay a big price. I would go so far as to say it’s like a vampire that siphons my energy. Did you know that a recent poll of entrepreneurs and people in high-pressure jobs had To Do lists for just 1 day that would realistically take an average of two weeks to complete? Many university research studies have proven that un-doable To Do lists make many people less productive because the overwhelm causes inertia.

Overwhelm can negatively affect many areas of life

Do you remember the book the Way of the Peaceful Warrior? Peaceful warriors tend to make a lot less mistakes than frantic ones. Plus your health gets affected. People who feel overwhelmed are more likely catch a cold. Relationships suffer. If you dwell on how overwhelmed you feel it can make you less fun to be with on a date. Overwhelm actually makes you think less effectively and less creatively. In fact feeling overwhelmed is directly linked to digestive problems, moodiness ADHD and sleep problems. Feeling overwhelmed triggers the primitive fight or flight brain which can lead you to do or say things you might regret later. Over the long term the overwhelmed mindset has been linked to divorce, depression, suicide, cancer, dementia and financial problems.

So why do people keep getting stuck in overwhelm then?

Many people are unconsciously programmed for feeling overwhelmed. The human mind tends to imprint negative experiences far more often than positive ones. Neuroscientists say this is the primitive brain response. The primitive brain is consciously scanning for danger. If you burn your hand in the fire your brain will imprint that deeply so you won’t do it again. If you see a great sunset the brain doesn’t see this as necessary for your survival so won’t imprint it so deeply. This is kind of a system flaw when you think about it because it means you remember far more negative experiences than positive ones, giving you the overall impression that life is dangerous and unpleasant.

What underlying beliefs usually make you feel overwhelmed?

If you believe that you can’t change the things you actually CAN change or you react against the things you actually CAN’T change (or you can’t tell the difference between the two) that is definitely a recipe for overwhelm. And, of course this is just the opposite of a well known saying. When you’re calm and centered about your To Do list you have better health, enhanced relationships, feel more confident, trust in the future more, have more vitality, think better and make wiser decisions. There is a big domino effect here.

What you focus on grows

If you really think about it — for every one thing that’s not going well chances are 1000 things ARE going well. And, what you focus on grows so you might as well ruminate on one of the thousand things going right and instantly have a better day.

If you’d like to learn more about how to shift your mindset from overwhelm to calm and confident check out this webinar series:

http://www.mindsetmasteryseminars.com/artistryofchange

Problems can be the seed of your creative reinvention

You may be feeling stuck about a technical issue, or how to persuade a decision-maker to accept your idea, or trying to work with someone who grates on your nerves. The truth is, problems are actually the basis of all creativity. They are like the soil into which new possibilities can flourish. You would not be challenged to be creative if you didn’t have a problem to solve in the first place. The real problem would be not activating a creative mindset in the face of problems. That is why creativity is as important as literacy especially these days.

The top 5 questions to ask yourself

Below are 5 questions that can move the problem out of your reptilian brain into your neo-cortex. In other words, the questions direct the issue into a part of your brain that has more choice – other than just fight or flight.

Instructions

Feel free to use this with yourself or with those you influence. Print out the email and answer these questions on a sheet of paper. It should only take a few minutes and has been known to create a huge sense of relief in hundreds of our clients.

1. What is the problem you face in terms of a state of mind?

This question helps you to get clear on your current issue. Many times you can’t fix a problem because you don’t even know what it is. It also focuses your attention on the state of mind that is feeding the problem. For example: “I am overwhelmed by my priorities.”

2. What is your ideal outcome?

As Albert Einstein once said, “You cannot solve a problem with the same mindset that created it.” Your ideal outcome would therefore be a mindset that allowed you to solve the problem. For example: “My ideal outcome is to be confident about how to deal with my priorities.”

3. What’s good about having this problem to deal with right now?

Chances are you looking at this issue as “the glass is half empty”. All situations have their pros and cons. This question can help you see “the glass as half full”. Look at what you answered to Question #1 and see if you can find any benefits from working through this issue. It might be helping you build skills, activate your creativity, or allowing something else to occur that might otherwise not happen.

4. What needs to burn away so that the right solution can manifest?

Naturally occurring forest fires happen to keep the eco-system in balance. The canopy of old growth trees can completely block sunshine from reaching the forest floor where important plant life needs to flourish in order to feed the rest of the eco-system. Metaphors like this help open up the creative mind. What needs to burn away in terms of an assumption, a mindset, or point of view that’s blocking you from getting back in the flow with this situation?

5. If I were exceptional at (the task required), what would I do that I am not doing now?

This question helps you think outside of a limited view you may have of your abilities. You can “download genius” just by imagining you are someone who could easily sort this situation out. For example: “If I were exceptional at confidently dealing with my priorities (instead of being overwhelmed by them), what would I do that I’m not doing now?”

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Case study #1 – Overwhelmed by your priorities this week

Question #1: “I am overwhelmed by my priorities.”

Question #2: “My ideal outcome is to be confident about dealing with my priorities.”

Question #3: “What’s good about having to deal with this situation right now?” I have a fascinating project I get to work on right now that is inspiring me to grow, to better prioritize, and to be more innovative about how it gets done.

Question #4: “What needs to burn away?” Thinking that I need to be perfectionistic about this project, that I need to do it all myself, and that I need to spend as much time on low priority aspects as I am right now.

Question #5: “If I were exceptional at confidently dealing with my priorities (instead of being overwhelmed by them), what would I do that I’m not doing now?” I would delegate the task of formatting the document to someone who is better at it than me, such as Linda.

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Case study #2 – Dealing with negative behaviour at work

Question #1: “I am unclear and anxious about how to confront negative behaviour at work.”

Question #2: “My ideal outcome is to be confident about how to deal with negative behaviour at work.”

Question #3: “What’s good about having to deal with this situation right now?” I am getting to practice assertiveness skills, I’m helping our entire team by dealing with this situation openly, I’m getting to see how to use that negative behaviour for a positive outcome.

Question #4: “What needs to burn away? Thinking that I don’t know how to do it, and thinking that this negative behaviour can have no positive outcome.

Question #5: “If I were exceptional at confidently dealing with negative behaviour at work, what would I do that I’m not doing now?” I would make a list of all the ways I could direct this person’s behaviour style in a more positive direction.

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Next steps

Act on the wisdom you receive as soon as possible, as this will train your brain to start thinking like this more often. The brain will always seek the path of flow (or of least resistance), and will eventually default to it. In other words, once you show your brain a less stressful way to deal with your most common problems, you will no longer feel triggered by them. This creates a new neuro-pathway. That is why action is so important.

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Feel free to comment below–what questions do you use to activate your problem solving brain?

For more information on how you can improve innovative problem solving in your staff go to CLICK HERE

According to the latest findings in neuroscience, if you balance your brain it can make you better on the job and in your personal life. The trouble is that more people than previously thought have a brain imbalance. In fact, an imbalanced brain is almost the norm in society today. I was labeled dyslexic in Grade 1 and sent to a special learning class–I could barely read and wrote letters backwards. However, after doing many of the brain balancing techniques listed below I learned how to read and comprehend at normal speed. I went onto 8 years of post secondary schooling, wrote 4 books, and have run a successful business for 22 years helping other people access their creativity, better use their brains and manage transitions more effectively.

The most indispensable people on the job today

The most indispensable people on the job today are those who can shift gears easily and bring constructive behavior to challenging situations. Brain scans can often show how brain imbalances are at the root of behaviors that cause problems for yourself or others at work such as getting too easily stressed, being a “type A” personality, or being unable to problem solve. The good news is that there are ways now to balance different aspects of the brain so you can help yourself and others move through transitions with ease and grace.

If your frontal lobes are imbalanced you cannot learn from your mistakes

The brain is a complex piece of machinery and neuroscience findings change daily, but here is a simplified version of what we know now. There are several aspects of the frontal lobes that help you be a Change Artist. For example, your frontal lobes house your ability to learn from mistakes, make plans, and reach your goals. When your frontal lobes are balanced, it helps you be compassionate towards others, expressive of your thoughts, organized, goal-oriented, flexible in your thinking, and adaptive to changes.

What happens when you get out of balance?

The frontal lobes are like the CEO of the brain. When they are underfunctioning, it’s like there is no leadership in the office, so nothing gets done, you can be unmotivated, disorganized, unfocused or too self absorbed. When the frontal lobes are overfunctioning, it’s like the boss is micromanaging everyone. You can display “type A” personality style where you make goals more important than people, you can become rigid and inflexible, being productive for productivity’s sake while losing touch with the ultimate purpose of your work.

“Type A” people often have a brain imbalance

Often people with overfunctioning frontal lobes go undetected in workplaces and can even be rewarded. They may be sales people who bring in good cash flow to the company, but they are doing it at the expense of their health and their relationships with others. They offer short terms rewards but sometimes with devastating long term costs. The overfunctioning person can have obsessive thoughts, compulsive behaviors, excessive worrying, argumentativeness, or oppositional behavior. They can “get stuck” on certain thoughts or actions such as “I must work all the time”, “I must check email every 5 minutes”. It’s the same mindset as an addict who must have a drink, a drug, food, sex, gambling, coffee, shopping, self judgment–and even when they get their fix they want it again soon. In other words, they keep thinking about or doing something that they know is harmful but feel like they cannot stop it.

What can cause Frontal Lobe imbalance?

Many things can cause the frontal lobes to get out of balance such as:

- a brain injury or even a small bump to the head
– poor nutrition
– excessive toxins in the body
– little or no reflection time
– unresolved issues from your past
– lack of exercise, sleep or water
– a habit of shallow breathing or mouth breathing
– unexpressed creativity
– not examining the validity of your thoughts
– multi-tasking

How can you re-balance your Frontal Lobes?

Here are some activities and processes designed to balance the frontal lobes:

1. Neurotherapy (see below for more info)
2. Good nutrition, supplementation and hydration
3. Detoxing your body
4. Reflection time or a regular spiritual practice
5. Cognitive or psychotherapeutic process (see below)
6. Regular exercise
7. A habit of 7-8 hours of sound sleep per night
8. A habit of full body breathing
9. Finding a meaning and purpose for your life
10. Expressing yourself creatively
11. Paying attention to the present moment
12. Focusing on one thing at a time

Here are processes and resources that can help:

1. The Change Your Brain books by Dr. Daniel Amen  http://www.amenclinics.com

2. Neurotherapy — the use of computerized biofeedback equipment to change your brainwave activity http://www.swingleandassociates.com

3. Brain Gym – a series of physical movements that enhance brain functioning http://www.braingym.org

4. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)7 – a series of tapping procedures designed to remove negative blocks from the body’s meridian system http://www.emofree.ca

5. The Sedona Method – a cognitive process to release negative thoughts http://www.sedona.com

6. The Choice Repatterning Process with Carla Rieger – a process to re-write beliefs that cause brain imbalances http://www.choicerepatterning.com

Do you have a tip to share?

Do you have an example of how you balance your brain? If so, leave it in the comment below. It just might inspire others.

Think of a conflict you may be having right now. Are you making an assumption that is escalating your reaction—an assumption may not be true?

Susan, a family care consultant, had been polite on the first two occasions and nothing had changed. She asked Carol, the day home provider, to install a child protection gate at the top of each staircase in her house. Yet, each time Susan came for a visit, nothing had been installed.

On this particular day, Susan was in a low mood; she was having problems with her teen daughter, her laptop wasn’t working, and she had a bad toothache. When she saw no gates installed, Susan exploded, “Haven’t you been listening to me? Gates are a regulation you know…they aren’t optional. I’m tired of all your excuses. Either you get the gates this week or I’ll have to penalize you!”

Carol looked shocked and spat back, “I told you three times already they were on order and lost in shipping. There’s no need to talk to me like that. I’m doing the best I can here. I find your manner to be very unprofessional!”

Both women became triggered whereby their “fight or flight” brain took over. People usually get triggered when they makes assumptions and don’t check out whether or not they are true. Susan assumed that Carol was just lazy and had no intention of installing the gates. As it turned out, Carol was having financial difficulties and so she tried to buy a less expensive set online. The shipping was taking a long time.

Carol assumed that Susan thought she was incompetent. As it turned out, Susan was very impressed with Carol’s competence, but was just frustrated that the gates were still not installed after several weeks of asking. Unchecked assumptions coupled with a hectic day can spell disaster if you don’t have ways to prevent unnecessary communication breakdowns.

A great metaphor for understanding how releasing assumptions can open up conversations is to think about naturally occurring forest fires. Nature is wise. Small forest fires happen for a reason. Old growth trees create a canopy that doesn’t let the sunshine reach the forest floor. If the plants on the forest floor can’t get sunshine, they can’t survive and then there’s no food for animals to eat, which then messes up the whole eco-system.

Forest managers used to suppress those regular fires until they figured out that they were creating uncharacteristically large wildfires that ended up devastating huge areas. It can work like that in life. If you don’t regularly let the old burn down, something big will come along and burn it down for you. Have you noticed that? Assumptions can work the same way. If you don’t regularly burn away and release your assumptions about people’s motives and thoughts, your relationships can get damaged.

Your assumptions about a conflict could actually be incorrect. Write down everything you believe to be true about the other person’s thoughts and motives, then arrange a time to talk to the person and ask open questions.

In the case of Susan, she finalled asked in a neutral tone of voice, “What is really getting in the way of you not having the gates installed yet?” That’s when she found out about Carol’s financial issue, at which point they were able to brainstorm on a solution. If you don’t understand the real issue it’s harder to find a workable solution. You will have to create a safe enough environment, though, for the person to tell you the real issue. In this case, Susan got Carol to confide in her and they were then able to brainstorm a workable solution. They borrowed some gates so that her home was safer until the new ones actually showed up.

Do you have a story about how checking out assumptions helped you come to a workable solution more effectively? Feel free to post your comments, questions and insights below.

For more information on our programs and online learning CLICK HERE.

Yet most people don’t do this because they don’t know how to understand their own or the other person’s core needs in the relationship.

It helps to use open questions rather than closed questions. Open questions invite a multitude of answers such as “How was your day?”

A closed question, on the other hand, invites just one answer or a yes or no answer as in “Did you have a bad day?” Open questions allow the other party to describe the circumstances that led up to a disagreement you may be having. Within their description, you can often find the beginnings of a mutually satisfying solution.

Remember to ask an open question in a neutral tone of voice versus a closed question in a negative tone. You may have to fake the tone of voice first until you both have calmed down, but it can make a huge difference. For example, “I notice you haven’t finished that project yet –what’s going on around that?” versus “You are so lazy!”

The first question might attract a response such as, “I’m waiting on a response from a service provider,” which will lead to a constructive conversation about how to move along the project instead of reactive conversation about how hard working the person is or not.

Do you have another tip to share on how to better collaborate, or a question, or insight? Please post your comment below. Also feel free to check out our programs and online learning HERE

If you can prevent unnecessary conflict and can find win-win outcomes to workplace challenges, you will be indispensible on the job. You will also tend to be much happier in your personal life. Excellent communicators tend to have small habits that almost force them to deal with an issue before it becomes destructive, or at least these habits help them turn conflict around before it gets too destructive. See if any of these habits would be helpful for you. Feel free to customize them to your personality style and circumstances.

Habits to De-escalate Yourself and Others

Most conflict resolution training programs will tell you the best things to say or do in a conflict, but if you are feeling triggered, you won’t remember. Have you ever noticed that? The trick is to get out of the Reptilian Brain and activate the Neo-cortex area of the brain. The Reptilian Brain is the most primitive part of the brain. It’s like one of those old computers from the 1950’s that could do two functions. The Neo-cortex is much higher functioning and is more like your iPhone; it’s where you store all that great learning about how to communicate in a tense situation.

Think about the last time you felt “triggered”

Chances are your adrenaline levels went up, your pupils dilated, your breathing became shallow along with a number of other physiological changes. In short, your Reptilian or “fight or flight” brain was activated. In this state of mind, you only have two choices…to defend yourself or run away.

In a workplace argument, that could look like avoiding talking about something that is important to you or using defensive language (“Your manner is unprofessional!”) Let’s face it, nothing good usually comes from avoiding an important conversation or blowing up at someone, and yet most of us succumb to both from time to time. Have you ever noticed that if you are feeling calm but the other person becomes triggered that you suddenly can become that way, too? It has a viral effect.

Learn to be aware when your fight or flight brain has been triggered

It also helps to recognize it in others. If you are “seeing red,” take in a long, slow, deep breath and exhale slowly a few times. These actions will activate your neo-cortex where your higher level communication skills reside. If necessary, take time out, walk around the block, and re-schedule a meeting when you have calmed down.

Do you have a trick or a tip for getting “un-triggered?” If so, leave your comment below. For more information on our programs and online learning click here.

Many people like to “win” a disagreement. They want to leave the conversation feeling like they were right and the other person was wrong. The downside is that this often leads to further escalation of the fight or flight response, which can lead to more loss and destruction. It can ruin your relationship and raise your stress levels. It can also lower your productivity in life because the issue entirely distracts your thinking. In the long run, this behavior can damage your self esteem and make you feel more isolated.

Yet, when triggered, humans will default to the fight or flight response – wanting to “win” an argument. This primitive part of your brain overrides the higher functioning parts. Therefore, the fight or flight brain will convince you that winning an argument will make you feel safer, when actually it might create the opposite and often does.

This default response will keep happening unless you re-train your brain and actually re-route the neuro-pathway pattern. The good news is that you can create a new default behaviour by establishing a new habit. This could be an action, words you say to someone, or a question you ask yourself, that helps activate the neo-cortex.

Usually, if you seek an outcome in which all parties feel satisfied, this can activate the neo-cortex where your higher functioning resides. It also leads to better relationships, less stress, improved reputation, enhanced leadership skills, better self esteem, etc.

The trick is to set an intention of collaboration (or a win-win outcome) before you begin a discussion on a touchy subject. Why? Because the other party will usually assume you just want to win and want them to lose out; so reassuring them that you have their interests in mind as well as you own will help them calm down. This action also helps create the possibility for both of you to achieve a win-win outcome, which often requires high level creative thinking. That kind of thinking resides in your neo-cortex, so you will need to be untriggered to access it.

You can use a simple statement such as, “I’d like to talk about how we can find an outcome to this situation that works for both of us.”

Feel free to post your comments, questions and insights below.

For more information on our programs and online learning CLICK HERE.

As Dennis Wholey once said, “Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.” People don’t always behave as well as they could because they get triggered. They interpret an interaction with you as somehow dangerous and go into a “fight or flight” mode, or the Reptilian Complex area of the brain. As such, they lose connection to their Pre-Frontal Cortex where their interpersonal communication skills reside

Have you ever noticed that some people can have healthy discussions that lead to meaningful change, while others seem to end up over and over again in nasty interactions that go nowhere? Do you have the skills that help prevent unnecessary conflict or are you unwittingly burning bridges?

Case study

This situation actually happened; but names have been changed. Susan, a family care consultant, had been polite on the first two occasions and nothing had changed. She asked Carol, the day home provider, to install a child protection gate at the top of each staircase in her house. Yet, each time Susan came for a visit nothing had been installed.

On this particular day, Susan was in a low mood; she was having problems with her teen daughter, her laptop wasn’t working, and she had a bad toothache. When she saw no gates installed, Susan exploded, “Haven’t you been listening to me? Gates are a regulation you know…they aren’t optional. I’m tired of all your excuses. Either you get the gates this week or I’ll have to penalize you!”

Carol looked shocked and spat back, “I told you they were on order and lost in shipping! There’s no need to threaten me. I’m doing the best I can here. I find your manner to be very unprofessional, you know!”

It went from bad to worse after that with both of them ending up saying things they later regretted. Carol called the agency and complained about Susan. A mediator had to be brought in. Her boss had to review Susan’s work history and write out an official report for the government.

Bad habits need re-training

Susan felt her reputation was damaged within the agency. Her relationship with her client was completely damaged too. Her stress levels went up, further complicating her issues with her daughter, and escalating her health problems.

Usually her boss would have sent her for training in conflict resolution, but at the time, there was a freeze on training due to budget cuts. Susan would have hated to be sent for communication skills training. However, after another year of similar incidents and her job on the line, she knew she had some bad communication habits and became determined to re-train herself.

She finally found an online program on conflict resolution that made all the difference. She could learn over time and repeat parts that were important to her both of which helped anchor in the learning. She could fit it into her schedule by watching whenever she wanted. She didn’t need to travel anywhere or do role plays with strangers. She had assignments that were due in on specific dates and a trusted learning partner, both of which helped her stay accountable to continue through and complete the program.

The best part was that she created new communication habits that had a powerful effect on many areas of life; more harmony and effectiveness at home, with co-workers, with her boss, with her clients and ultimately within herself.

Have you ever tried online methods to learn communication skills? If so comment below and tell us about your experience. For more information about our online learning programs CLICK HERE.

Being an artist of your own life

Yet, there is a part of everyone’s intelligence that can see beyond the horizon. I call it being a “Change Artist”. It is the part of the human psyche that can sense into possibilities before they become manifest. Pablo Picasso once said “Everyone is born an artist, the trick is to recapture that artist as an adult.” When I once asked a group of kindergarten students to raise their hand if they considered themselves an artist, all hands went up. When I asked that same question of a group of adults instead, what do you think happened?
Only about 25% put their hands up. Somehow the older people get the less they seem to frame themselves in terms of artistry. Perhaps it’s how you define artistry. How I like to frame artistry is that it is not about doing something such as drawing, playing music, or writing, it’s about who you are being. For example, you can play music very un-artistically, whereas you could plan your busy day very artistically. To be artistic in conducting your life is to sense into the natural creative flow of life and to get in synch with it, using that energetic flow to manifest just the right outcome in just the right way. It’s an intelligence beyond what we typically call IQ. Let’s call it AQ….your Artistic Quotient.

Symptoms that you may be in The Winter of Change

Using your AQ during The Winter of Change can be very beneficial because it’s usually the time in your life when your outward creative abilities are lying fallow and replenishing themselves. When you feel less outwardly creative, it’s time to tap into a more inward creativity. Few people in our goal oriented culture effectively model this inward creativity and so it’s not as well practiced. The tips below may help you tap into exactly what you need to move forward. Symptoms that you are in a replenishing phase may be:

• Feeling low energy and unmotivated
• Confusion and having little clarity about what’s next
• Grieving the old identity that has fallen away

What’s going on is that the old identity that was tied up with your previous life is breaking down and dying. It’s like what happens in your garden when the cold rain and snow set in. The remains of the last harvest start to disintegrate and the soil begins to compost to get ready for Spring. Humans have an aversion to death and dying, so it’s natural to feel uncomfortable during this phase. But ironically the more you resist it the longer it seems to take. Also, if you try to skip this step, you may find you miss out on the next harvest of your life, or at least miss out on having the best possible harvest. Here are some tips to make it through the Winter with more ease and grace allowing you to get to Spring faster while also replenishing yourself more fully for what’s next:

1. Focus on the breaking down process: If you find yourself wanting to escape the discomfort of the breaking down process, try giving yourself just 10 minutes of being with it. Often people avoid going into those sensations because they are afraid they may end up being consumed by the feelings of loss. However, feelings are like clouds. They come and they go. The focus of your attention on them ironically causes them to evaporate. Just sit quietly in a private place and breathe into the areas of discomfort and see what happens. You may be surprised about how much relief this can bring. If you don’t allow yourself to grieve the old and let go, then you cannot make way for what is next.

2. Time out: People are far more validated in our culture when they are in the Spring and Summer of change than during the Autumn or Winter phases, yet you can’t have one without the other. Giving yourself permission to be less active, less productive, to just rest and muse, will actually make the Winter phase easier and quicker. Different types of “time out” activities work for different people. It may be short, regular activities like walks in nature or meditating, or spending more time doing something you love like a hobbies or a sport. Or it could be a longer activity like a vacation or focusing for a few weeks on your gardening or writing. Be mindful however of doing activities that bring rejuvenation rather than just distraction, for example the difference between watching a soul stirring movie, and watching 10 episodes of The Simpsons.

3. Explore new options: Give your imagination time to explore that is beyond the horizon. Gurdjieff, a Russian thought leader (1866-1949) once suggested that within each person is a committee of voices. Sometimes that committee is in harmony, sometimes not. If you have spent 20 years being a parent some members of your committee may have had to be overruled. For example, if you are recently an “empty nester” chances are those more silent committee members are now voicing their interests. Exploring new options means focusing your attention on areas of your life that may have been ignoring, or welcoming in new inspirations or new committee members who have something valuable to contribute to your next phase of life.

If you would like a process to help you explore new options feel free to check out The Art of Reinvention. It is a 19-page white paper that allows you to explore the next phase of your life from various angles. It only takes about an hour to complete and can be surprisingly rejuvenating, insightful and can help you more quickly usher in the Spring.

I would love to continue this conversation with you. Feel free to post comments, insights, or questions below.

Thank you and best of luck with your reinvention!
In Friendship
Carla

- David Whyte, poet

People are reinventing themselves at a rate never before seen in history

Did you know that, according to the U.S. Department of Labour, many of the most in demand careers today didn’t even exist 6 years ago? Did you also know that the average person changes their role within an organization at least 4 times? People also change their career at least 6 times, their homes at least 12 times and their long term relationships at least 3 times in a lifetime.

In short, people are reinventing themselves at a rate never before seen in history–and it is growing exponentially. As the world changes, the way you belong to the world keeps changing, too. Yet, few of us have had a role model for reinventing ourselves over and over again. Just a generation or two ago people tended to stay in the same job, career, home, and relationship their entire life.

As a result, there exists a huge proportion of people perpetually in transition and entirely challenged about how to deal with it. Transitions are especially uncomfortable when you are between two worlds. You can’t go back to the old, but you haven’t yet found your way with the new. It’s like the winter of change when the old harvest is now gone and the new one needs time before it can manifest.

The winter of change can feel barren and cold

In this stage you can feel lost, lethargic; maybe not even wanting to get out of bed in the morning. Some people even feel like they no longer connect to a meaning for their life, and many things they used to enjoy are now feeling pointless. These are normal experiences during the winter season of your creative life. While it may be summer outside, it can feel like winter inside. Many people think that there is something wrong with them during this phase. Yet it is actually a very important phase of the reinvention process in a person’s life and to ignore it or to anaesthetize it can mean that you miss out on the next harvesting of your life journey.

There are cycles in everyone’s life when it feels barren, like nothing is happening, like the great harvest you experienced before in your life will never happen again. During this state of mind a subterranean part of your psyche is replenishing itself and getting you ready for what’s next. This is the time in your cycle of growth when you need the most support and the time you’re least likely to ask for it.

Carl Jung great thought-leader in the field of psychology, once said: “Depression is often the empty stillness which precedes creative work.” Once you realize this it can create a sense of safety to just be okay with the barrenness of this winter of change in your life. In fact, for some people this reframe alone can make it sometimes a fascinating rather than only an uncomfortable process.

People often enter the winter of change after they have achieved their goal

This state of mind can happen soon after you retire, even if you had been looking forward to your retirement for years. It can happen after your children leave home, even if you were looking forward to finally freeing up your energy from all those years of parenting. Or even more surprisingly after a great success in your life. If you had been working for years to achieve a certain level of career success and then you finally achieve it, there can be an odd sense of purposelessness when it’s over that can usher you into a winter of your creative cycle.

This happened for me about 14 years ago after I’d spent 5 years building my career as an inspirational speaker. I had achieved my dream and I was speaking at huge sales rallies across the continent. I was being flown around and put up in five-star hotels. After the last in a series of presentations had completed I remember going back to my hotel room and instead of feeling elated I felt strangely depressed. I felt as if whatever I was seeking all those years was not worth it or that somehow this dream I was chasing wasn’t giving me what I was actually looking for.

This was the beginning of two years of a barren winter in my life in which I no longer wanted to do this career, and didn’t have the motivation or interest to create anything new. It was a frightening time for me because I knew nothing about this natural time of barrenness that people experience cyclically in their lives. I was afraid that I would stay in this state forever. It took a toll on my health, my relationships and of course my income. The only thing I seemed interested in doing was journaling and walking in nature which in retrospect was exactly what I needed to be doing. I was discovering a new purpose that wanted to be born into my life.

What took so long for me to get through this process was that I didn’t want to let go of the old identity because it was familiar, I knew how to make it work and I was  attached to the social approval I received for this kind of work, not to mention the income and sense of security that provided. Yet, trying to hold on was actually creating more problems in my life.

When I finally let go of my old identity and let myself go into the dark and the unknown I started to discover amazing things, parts of myself that wanted expression. The truth was that I didn’t need to change what I was doing but how I was doing it. Through this 2 years I created a process that I now share with people so they don’t have to go through two years of being lost, confused and resistant to this winter of change. I have been working with people and perfecting the system ever since.

The Art of Reinvention process for getting through to Spring

The Art of Reinvention process helps you move through this period of time more quickly, with ease and grace, and it helps you reframe this process so that you suffer less and enjoy it for what it is. A process like this can also help you avoid the pitfalls that often happen during the winter of change – for example addictive behaviors, creating drama, relationship breakdowns, health issues, financial issues.

This process is useful for anyone who is in transition, having left behind:

• a job or career (e.g. being a supervisor or running a business)
• a relationship  (e.g. losing a friend, or going through a divorce)
• a role (e.g. being a parent, or being a volunteer)
• an identity (e.g. being single, being in your 40s)

And it’s especially helpful if you haven’t gotten clear about what is next, or more importantly how you want do what’s next in your life. Check out The Art of Reinvention process here. It is an easy-to-use, step-by-step process to help you explore the themes of the next chapter of your life.

And just remember, it takes courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful for you. There is actually more security in taking an adventure into the new, because in movement there is life and vitality again.