Most people are somewhere in the middle. Regardless of where you are on the spectrum, sometimes it’s better to seek stability and at other times to seek change. So, if you aren’t sure you’re ready for change, here are some tell-tale signs that you may need to reinvent:

1. Daydreaming
You find yourself daydreaming about what you’d rather be doing. This is important information to take note of. People tend to rehearse the changes they like to make in their lives through their imaginations. Please note, though, that sometimes you don’t need to change what you are doing, but rather how you are doing it. For example, a client who was a business owner was working 60 hours a week and was day dreaming of a life with more down time. She kept thinking she needed to sell her business, when actually what she needed to do was to change her beliefs and habits about how she ran her business.

2. Irritability and lethargy
You notice that situations you used to enjoy actually irritate you now. You also may be dragging yourself out of bed every day. If you are not looking forward to facing the challenges of your day it may mean you either need to reinvent what you are doing or how you are doing it. Notice if someone comments on how negative you seem, don’t take offense, but thank them for clarifying this telling sign. Sometimes you can get so used to being irritated that you become numb to it. Awareness of the moods that permeate your behaviour is an important first step in making a major life change. You can also talk to someone that has seen you consistently for a number of years and candidly ask them how they perceive your attitude. Use their answer to activate your resolve to change.

3. Dissatisfaction
You may feel an insatiable nagging which is a clue that an important part of your expression in the world is being ignored. You may feel that “nothing’s wrong, but nothing’s right either” or “there’s just something missing.” If these phrases resonate for you, you aren’t living the life you truly want, you are settling for something less. A big reason people cannot get beyond a nagging sense of dissatisfaction is because they aren’t totally sure what to change or how to do it. One way to gain clarity is to ask yourself, “If there were no obstacles in terms of time, money, or resources what would I do that I’m not doing now?” One of my coaching clients discovered that he wanted to be a moviemaker. This discovery led him to being the person who started making promotional videos within his organization.

4. Envy
If someone you know is doing something that fascinates you or if they trigger a sense of envy, or both, that is a good clue. Make some notes about what they are doing it and how they are doing it that capture your attention or that gnaws away at you. This could be someone in your community or a famous person. Chances are that person is demonstrating some aspect of your ideal life, and your fascination or aversion can be a huge sign post for you. The number one reason people don’t actively pursue their dreams is because they don’t give themselves permission to look and see what they actually want. Make an appointment with yourself. Put aside 30 minutes on a Sunday morning, and ask yourself this question: “What is it about this person that most fascinates me or that I most envy?” For example, one of my coaching clients noticed that she felt envy whenever her friend talked about her work for an arts foundation. Eventually this client created a series of joint ventures between her company and the arts foundation. The envy led her to something that created more fulfillment in her life.

5. Seeking inspiration
Another clue you need a change is if you find yourself searching for new ideas and inspiration. Observe the articles that catch your attention or which web sites you are browsing. Notice the topics of conversation that intrigue you. Keep note of these behaviours and what you find in your research. It will all become useful when you are ready to make the change. For example, another coaching client noticed that in one year she had read seven books on how to deal with difficult behaviours at work. She went onto having a consulting practice in workplace communication.

Next steps
If more than 3 of these signs describe you, do at least one small action to work toward changing your life. This could mean writing in notebook (you can call it a Reinvention Journal) for 30 minutes on Sundays, or interviewing someone on the phone who is doing what you want to do, or browsing 3 web sites on topics that fascinate you. Just remember that reinventing yourself in one area of your life can enhance all aspects of your life.

Feel free to post comments, questions or insights below.

To check out more resources for reinventing your career CLICK HERE.

Being an artist of your own life

Yet, there is a part of everyone’s intelligence that can see beyond the horizon. I call it being a “Change Artist”. It is the part of the human psyche that can sense into possibilities before they become manifest. Pablo Picasso once said “Everyone is born an artist, the trick is to recapture that artist as an adult.” When I once asked a group of kindergarten students to raise their hand if they considered themselves an artist, all hands went up. When I asked that same question of a group of adults instead, what do you think happened?
Only about 25% put their hands up. Somehow the older people get the less they seem to frame themselves in terms of artistry. Perhaps it’s how you define artistry. How I like to frame artistry is that it is not about doing something such as drawing, playing music, or writing, it’s about who you are being. For example, you can play music very un-artistically, whereas you could plan your busy day very artistically. To be artistic in conducting your life is to sense into the natural creative flow of life and to get in synch with it, using that energetic flow to manifest just the right outcome in just the right way. It’s an intelligence beyond what we typically call IQ. Let’s call it AQ….your Artistic Quotient.

Symptoms that you may be in The Winter of Change

Using your AQ during The Winter of Change can be very beneficial because it’s usually the time in your life when your outward creative abilities are lying fallow and replenishing themselves. When you feel less outwardly creative, it’s time to tap into a more inward creativity. Few people in our goal oriented culture effectively model this inward creativity and so it’s not as well practiced. The tips below may help you tap into exactly what you need to move forward. Symptoms that you are in a replenishing phase may be:

• Feeling low energy and unmotivated
• Confusion and having little clarity about what’s next
• Grieving the old identity that has fallen away

What’s going on is that the old identity that was tied up with your previous life is breaking down and dying. It’s like what happens in your garden when the cold rain and snow set in. The remains of the last harvest start to disintegrate and the soil begins to compost to get ready for Spring. Humans have an aversion to death and dying, so it’s natural to feel uncomfortable during this phase. But ironically the more you resist it the longer it seems to take. Also, if you try to skip this step, you may find you miss out on the next harvest of your life, or at least miss out on having the best possible harvest. Here are some tips to make it through the Winter with more ease and grace allowing you to get to Spring faster while also replenishing yourself more fully for what’s next:

1. Focus on the breaking down process: If you find yourself wanting to escape the discomfort of the breaking down process, try giving yourself just 10 minutes of being with it. Often people avoid going into those sensations because they are afraid they may end up being consumed by the feelings of loss. However, feelings are like clouds. They come and they go. The focus of your attention on them ironically causes them to evaporate. Just sit quietly in a private place and breathe into the areas of discomfort and see what happens. You may be surprised about how much relief this can bring. If you don’t allow yourself to grieve the old and let go, then you cannot make way for what is next.

2. Time out: People are far more validated in our culture when they are in the Spring and Summer of change than during the Autumn or Winter phases, yet you can’t have one without the other. Giving yourself permission to be less active, less productive, to just rest and muse, will actually make the Winter phase easier and quicker. Different types of “time out” activities work for different people. It may be short, regular activities like walks in nature or meditating, or spending more time doing something you love like a hobbies or a sport. Or it could be a longer activity like a vacation or focusing for a few weeks on your gardening or writing. Be mindful however of doing activities that bring rejuvenation rather than just distraction, for example the difference between watching a soul stirring movie, and watching 10 episodes of The Simpsons.

3. Explore new options: Give your imagination time to explore that is beyond the horizon. Gurdjieff, a Russian thought leader (1866-1949) once suggested that within each person is a committee of voices. Sometimes that committee is in harmony, sometimes not. If you have spent 20 years being a parent some members of your committee may have had to be overruled. For example, if you are recently an “empty nester” chances are those more silent committee members are now voicing their interests. Exploring new options means focusing your attention on areas of your life that may have been ignoring, or welcoming in new inspirations or new committee members who have something valuable to contribute to your next phase of life.

If you would like a process to help you explore new options feel free to check out The Art of Reinvention. It is a 19-page white paper that allows you to explore the next phase of your life from various angles. It only takes about an hour to complete and can be surprisingly rejuvenating, insightful and can help you more quickly usher in the Spring.

I would love to continue this conversation with you. Feel free to post comments, insights, or questions below.

Thank you and best of luck with your reinvention!
In Friendship
Carla

Just get a new job, start a business, train in a new career, come up with a new product or service, find a different kind of customer, create a new business model and so on.

Fear of death

The reality of re-inventing yourself, however, can be immensely difficult because of several issues, one of which rarely gets talked about. That issue is the fear of death. It sounds strange, but some psychologists say that all fear can be traced back to fear of death. In the context of reinvention this would be about death of the personality or the existing identity or structure and the familiarity of the status quo.

Without death there can be no creativity in life

We are genetically programmed to enter into an intense state of fear at the thought of our demise or anything we are attached to. Yet, the Buddhists say that without death, there can be no joy in life, no creativity. Or as Mary Catherine Bateson said at the BRC in February: “We need to be able to walk into the forest and see that all of its beauty is intertwined with the process of death feeding back into the life of the forest.”  David Whyte talks about it eloquently in this video, that death or destruction of the old is a necessary part of the artistic tradition. And, if we are the artists of our lives, our work, and our businesses it helps to periodically let go of the old.

For example, 9/11 caused the meetings industry to slow down significantly. As a result, some industry leaders brainstormed and decided to focus resources in other areas. Lo and behold great inroads were made into webinars and tele-seminars.

Paul Hawken, in his book Blessed Unrest, talks about a huge social and environmental movement afoot on a global scale today (and why no one saw it coming).

Watch this inspiring 5 minute YouTube clip for details

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If you have a story or tip about how you re-invented yourself after a crises, feel free to let us know. We are always looking for great case studies.