#1 – Not enough of something (e.g. money, time, support)

#2 - Lack of clarity (e.g. around goal, or direction, or how to do it)

#3 – I don’t have what it takes (e.g. not enough experience, training, courage, etc)

While these reasons at a surface level might seem true, they miss the underlying issues that may be causing these problems in the first place.

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Surface Reason #1: Not enough money, time support

People often say they don’t have enough time, money, opportunities or support from key people in their life. Think about an area of life where you feel stuck about how to change, do any of these reasons resonate for you? For example, finding more fulfilling work, losing weight, improving your financial situation, etc.

Actual Reason: While on the surface “not enough of something” may seem true, often the underlying reason is a perception problem. Your assumptions can be your prison.

Case study: One client said she couldn’t achieve life balance because she had no support from her family or boss. However, that turned out to be a false assumption. Her kids and husband told her they actually prefer it when she seemed happy and balanced rather than burned out and resentful. Her boss said the same thing. The real reason she felt burned out was that she was not prioritizing, setting boundaries, and communicating effectively about her needs. Underneath that reason was a belief that she had to sacrifice her well being for other people. Underlying that belief was a fear of disapproval, which plagues many people and stops them from moving forward in life. By removing this core level script about needing other people’s approval she was able to then set boundaries, prioritize, and communicate her needs. This allowed her to then effortlessly regain life balance and to finally make it stick.

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Surface Reason #2: Lack of clarity

People often say they cannot change their situation because they don’t know how to change things or what direction to go in.

Actual Reason: What may actually be happening is that they haven’t given themselves permission to explore what’s really going on.

Case study: Another client disliked her job but felt an inner conflict because she disliked every job she’d had and couldn’t face having to quit and find another one only to face the same situation yet again. By making an appointment with herself and taking time away from distractions to be quiet and to focus on the issue, she was actually able to resolve the inner conflict quite easily. It was the fear of facing the inner conflict rather than the conflict itself that was 80% of the struggle. Upon deeper reflection she discovered that it wasn’t what she was doing but how she was doing her job that was causing her grief. She had an unconscious script telling her she had to do everything perfectly. The reality of perfection was impossible to achieve so she was in a perpetual state of angst. Once we removed the “perfection script” and replaced it with a more realistic expectation of herself, she was able to keep her job and find peace and happiness in her daily life again.

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Surface Reason #3: I don’t have what it takes

A very common surface reason is some version of “I don’t have what it takes”. I don’t have enough experience, know-how, credibility, guts, skill, confidence, persistence, centeredness, belief in myself, etc.

Actual Reason: Underneath all those beliefs is usually one core belief about lack of worthiness. To quote Wayne and Garth from Wayne’s World “I’m not worthy!” is the sub-conscious mantra of many people. A sense of unworthiness is at the core of many issues regarding money, health, relationships, career and even spirituality. While a belief like this may seem illogical, many beliefs are programming either as a child before your logical reasoning ability had formed, or was picked up unconsciously from parents, teachers, marketing messages, or society. The truth is, you are still getting programmed every day without even being aware it is happening. The good news, however, is that you can re-program yourself as often as you need so that you can get more of the results you want.

Case study: Another client had a dream about starting his own business. He wanted to help people deal with the sudden death of a loved one–with the practical, financial and emotional issues. He worked at a bank and had a long list of reasons why he couldn’t get started, but in the end we discovered that he just didn’t believe in himself. No one in his family had ever done anything like that. Who was he to think he could realize his dream? He didn’t trust that he had the courage or persistence to pull it off. The irony is that you actually have to manufacture trust at the beginning to take action which then leads to success which then builds trust in yourself. So, together we manufactured enough trust and belief in himself to take a few small steps towards his dream. These steps then snowballed into larger and more on-going actions. I’m happy to say that now he has a full time business in this area. He has realized his dream.

To learn more about how to manifest a goal or a dream that you’ve always wanted, go to:

http://www.choicerepatterning.com

Today I’d like to share a quick video with you to discuss one rarely mentioned, but key characteristic that will help you get through virutally any tough situation. Can you guess what it is? Check out the video and see if you agree …

If you are interested in continuing on your quest for your personal best, I’d like to help by offering you some resources:

• Videos, article and download a copy of my Your Life, Unlimited Guided Journal at no charge.

• Socialize with me and an empowering community of like-minded, positive people.

• Cruise to Uncommon Success with me, en route to Alaska July 3-10, 2011.

• The 5 “A” Principles for a Life of Success & Significance CD – great value and Instant motivation straight to your MP3!

Thanks for sharing your time with me. Carla will be back in the saddle next week!

Most people are somewhere in the middle. Regardless of where you are on the spectrum, sometimes it’s better to seek stability and at other times to seek change. So, if you aren’t sure you’re ready for change, here are some tell-tale signs that you may need to reinvent:

1. Daydreaming
You find yourself daydreaming about what you’d rather be doing. This is important information to take note of. People tend to rehearse the changes they like to make in their lives through their imaginations. Please note, though, that sometimes you don’t need to change what you are doing, but rather how you are doing it. For example, a client who was a business owner was working 60 hours a week and was day dreaming of a life with more down time. She kept thinking she needed to sell her business, when actually what she needed to do was to change her beliefs and habits about how she ran her business.

2. Irritability and lethargy
You notice that situations you used to enjoy actually irritate you now. You also may be dragging yourself out of bed every day. If you are not looking forward to facing the challenges of your day it may mean you either need to reinvent what you are doing or how you are doing it. Notice if someone comments on how negative you seem, don’t take offense, but thank them for clarifying this telling sign. Sometimes you can get so used to being irritated that you become numb to it. Awareness of the moods that permeate your behaviour is an important first step in making a major life change. You can also talk to someone that has seen you consistently for a number of years and candidly ask them how they perceive your attitude. Use their answer to activate your resolve to change.

3. Dissatisfaction
You may feel an insatiable nagging which is a clue that an important part of your expression in the world is being ignored. You may feel that “nothing’s wrong, but nothing’s right either” or “there’s just something missing.” If these phrases resonate for you, you aren’t living the life you truly want, you are settling for something less. A big reason people cannot get beyond a nagging sense of dissatisfaction is because they aren’t totally sure what to change or how to do it. One way to gain clarity is to ask yourself, “If there were no obstacles in terms of time, money, or resources what would I do that I’m not doing now?” One of my coaching clients discovered that he wanted to be a moviemaker. This discovery led him to being the person who started making promotional videos within his organization.

4. Envy
If someone you know is doing something that fascinates you or if they trigger a sense of envy, or both, that is a good clue. Make some notes about what they are doing it and how they are doing it that capture your attention or that gnaws away at you. This could be someone in your community or a famous person. Chances are that person is demonstrating some aspect of your ideal life, and your fascination or aversion can be a huge sign post for you. The number one reason people don’t actively pursue their dreams is because they don’t give themselves permission to look and see what they actually want. Make an appointment with yourself. Put aside 30 minutes on a Sunday morning, and ask yourself this question: “What is it about this person that most fascinates me or that I most envy?” For example, one of my coaching clients noticed that she felt envy whenever her friend talked about her work for an arts foundation. Eventually this client created a series of joint ventures between her company and the arts foundation. The envy led her to something that created more fulfillment in her life.

5. Seeking inspiration
Another clue you need a change is if you find yourself searching for new ideas and inspiration. Observe the articles that catch your attention or which web sites you are browsing. Notice the topics of conversation that intrigue you. Keep note of these behaviours and what you find in your research. It will all become useful when you are ready to make the change. For example, another coaching client noticed that in one year she had read seven books on how to deal with difficult behaviours at work. She went onto having a consulting practice in workplace communication.

Next steps
If more than 3 of these signs describe you, do at least one small action to work toward changing your life. This could mean writing in notebook (you can call it a Reinvention Journal) for 30 minutes on Sundays, or interviewing someone on the phone who is doing what you want to do, or browsing 3 web sites on topics that fascinate you. Just remember that reinventing yourself in one area of your life can enhance all aspects of your life.

Feel free to post comments, questions or insights below.

To check out more resources for reinventing your career CLICK HERE.

Why adults have trouble reinventing themselves

A long time back I worked with a mother and her daughter. In kindergarten the girl was vibrant, playful, sociable and inventive. But in Grade 1, everything changed. The teacher, Miss Munroe, was disturbed that the girl couldn’t sit still, that she wrote letters backwards, that she couldn’t read and or do arithmetic as well as the other children. So Miss Munroe put her in the special learning class, or as the other kids referred to it…the dummies class. Her mother was surprised because the girl had always seemed so bright and so good at many things. But the teachers said it was the best choice for everyone concerned. The girl disliked this dummies class even more than regular class and sat sullen refusing to do anything at all. The other children began to exclude her on the playground. Her self esteem plummeted and she soon isolated herself from friends and family.

Learning HOW to learn rather than memorizing rote facts

Her mother grew upset about the situation and so did research on alternative school programs that offered a more flexible curriculum. She eventually got her daughter into a school with a self-directed learning program. This was where students were asked HOW they wanted to learn instead of having to follow one standard curriculum. That’s when everything changed. The students suggested that instead of learning plant science from a book, that they would make their own vegetable garden together instead. So that’s what they did for half the school year. Instead of memorizing the Pythagoras theorem, they constructed multi-colored models to learn about how it applies in the real world. Instead of memorizing facts about the inventor, Edison, they produced a short documentary about his life. This girl eventually became a top student in this experiential learning environment, because she needed to move in order to think.

Do you need to move in order to think?

In his groundbreaking TED talk “Do Schools Kill Creativity?“, Sir Kenneth Robinson, tells the story of the great choreographer, Gillian Lynne. She was always a dancer at heart, and needed to move in order to think. Many people who are not thriving in the education system or their organization are actually very bright and capable, but they are stuck in a sitting position all day long, when they actually need to move to think properly.

This girl went on to finish high school and 7 years of postsecondary education with excellent marks. Soon after graduating she started her own business and she has been able to continually reinvent her career the last 20 years. Now this was someone who struggled with dyslexia for years, who had to go to the library for the blind to just get through a book. And this young student was me.

Here is my geeky Grade 8 photo at University Hill Secondary School. Thank goodness there was such a great program there in the 1970′s because it that made all the difference to me being a contributing member of society. I was lucky; I had a mother who stood up for me. I could have easily ended up like my friend in the special education class who was pregnant by 15 and spent her early adult years as a drug addict living on welfare.

Here’s a photo of my mother who went to bat for me. She died of cancer when I was only 27 years old but in the last year of her life she did get that chance to see me on a video speak before an audience of 1400 college students. A proud moment for a mother who worried her child would never make it in the world. I later learned to break free of dyslexia through Brain Gym. By doing the exercises every day for several years and going on to teach it to others I now read quickly with excellent comprehension and have no other traces of dyslexia. Many learning disabilities are now much more easily overcome through such excellent organizations as The Educational Kinesiology Foundation.

What happens when you don’t know how to reinvent very well?

An extraordinary number of the young people who went through this creative, self directed program went on to lead successful lives as adults in creative and dynamic professions, even if they came into the program as a “problem child”. One reason is that they learned to continually reinvent and therefore could thrive in a variety of environments. They were taught how to create something from nothing, how to choose their response, and how to ascribe they own meaning to situations. In contrast, in regular schools, children were taught only one way to learn and were allowed only a narrow range of responses and interpretations they could have about their environment. They were never taught to question assumptions, or how to consciously form their own opinions or interpretations.

Change resistant people hold organizations back

As a result, many adults with this kind of mindset can feel helpless when things like the economy turns down, or they have to learn new software, or they must take on another role at work. From years of surveying individuals and leaders in organizations the majority of people complain, resist, and even to sabotage a necessary reinvention …all because they just have a weak skill set for reinvention. They just don’t know how to create something out of nothing, or how to choose their response, or how to create a sense of meaning for what they’re doing.

Humans view themselves as creative until they are taught not to

When I recently asked a room full of adults to raise their hands if they called themselves creative, only about 1/5th of the room did so. When I ask a roomful of kindergarten students the same question, all the hands went up. So the good news is that humans view themselves as creative, until they are taught not to. Therefore, the skill of reinvention, or understanding of the creative process, is actually an innate ability that some people just forgot. If you got dressed this morning in a different way than yesterday, you can reinvent. If you negotiated your way through traffic today, you used the creative process. All you really have to do is remember your innate skills and apply them to whatever situation you now need to reinvent.

Being an artist of your own life

Yet, there is a part of everyone’s intelligence that can see beyond the horizon. I call it being a “Change Artist”. It is the part of the human psyche that can sense into possibilities before they become manifest. Pablo Picasso once said “Everyone is born an artist, the trick is to recapture that artist as an adult.” When I once asked a group of kindergarten students to raise their hand if they considered themselves an artist, all hands went up. When I asked that same question of a group of adults instead, what do you think happened?
Only about 25% put their hands up. Somehow the older people get the less they seem to frame themselves in terms of artistry. Perhaps it’s how you define artistry. How I like to frame artistry is that it is not about doing something such as drawing, playing music, or writing, it’s about who you are being. For example, you can play music very un-artistically, whereas you could plan your busy day very artistically. To be artistic in conducting your life is to sense into the natural creative flow of life and to get in synch with it, using that energetic flow to manifest just the right outcome in just the right way. It’s an intelligence beyond what we typically call IQ. Let’s call it AQ….your Artistic Quotient.

Symptoms that you may be in The Winter of Change

Using your AQ during The Winter of Change can be very beneficial because it’s usually the time in your life when your outward creative abilities are lying fallow and replenishing themselves. When you feel less outwardly creative, it’s time to tap into a more inward creativity. Few people in our goal oriented culture effectively model this inward creativity and so it’s not as well practiced. The tips below may help you tap into exactly what you need to move forward. Symptoms that you are in a replenishing phase may be:

• Feeling low energy and unmotivated
• Confusion and having little clarity about what’s next
• Grieving the old identity that has fallen away

What’s going on is that the old identity that was tied up with your previous life is breaking down and dying. It’s like what happens in your garden when the cold rain and snow set in. The remains of the last harvest start to disintegrate and the soil begins to compost to get ready for Spring. Humans have an aversion to death and dying, so it’s natural to feel uncomfortable during this phase. But ironically the more you resist it the longer it seems to take. Also, if you try to skip this step, you may find you miss out on the next harvest of your life, or at least miss out on having the best possible harvest. Here are some tips to make it through the Winter with more ease and grace allowing you to get to Spring faster while also replenishing yourself more fully for what’s next:

1. Focus on the breaking down process: If you find yourself wanting to escape the discomfort of the breaking down process, try giving yourself just 10 minutes of being with it. Often people avoid going into those sensations because they are afraid they may end up being consumed by the feelings of loss. However, feelings are like clouds. They come and they go. The focus of your attention on them ironically causes them to evaporate. Just sit quietly in a private place and breathe into the areas of discomfort and see what happens. You may be surprised about how much relief this can bring. If you don’t allow yourself to grieve the old and let go, then you cannot make way for what is next.

2. Time out: People are far more validated in our culture when they are in the Spring and Summer of change than during the Autumn or Winter phases, yet you can’t have one without the other. Giving yourself permission to be less active, less productive, to just rest and muse, will actually make the Winter phase easier and quicker. Different types of “time out” activities work for different people. It may be short, regular activities like walks in nature or meditating, or spending more time doing something you love like a hobbies or a sport. Or it could be a longer activity like a vacation or focusing for a few weeks on your gardening or writing. Be mindful however of doing activities that bring rejuvenation rather than just distraction, for example the difference between watching a soul stirring movie, and watching 10 episodes of The Simpsons.

3. Explore new options: Give your imagination time to explore that is beyond the horizon. Gurdjieff, a Russian thought leader (1866-1949) once suggested that within each person is a committee of voices. Sometimes that committee is in harmony, sometimes not. If you have spent 20 years being a parent some members of your committee may have had to be overruled. For example, if you are recently an “empty nester” chances are those more silent committee members are now voicing their interests. Exploring new options means focusing your attention on areas of your life that may have been ignoring, or welcoming in new inspirations or new committee members who have something valuable to contribute to your next phase of life.

If you would like a process to help you explore new options feel free to check out The Art of Reinvention. It is a 19-page white paper that allows you to explore the next phase of your life from various angles. It only takes about an hour to complete and can be surprisingly rejuvenating, insightful and can help you more quickly usher in the Spring.

I would love to continue this conversation with you. Feel free to post comments, insights, or questions below.

Thank you and best of luck with your reinvention!
In Friendship
Carla

- David Whyte, poet

People are reinventing themselves at a rate never before seen in history

Did you know that, according to the U.S. Department of Labour, many of the most in demand careers today didn’t even exist 6 years ago? Did you also know that the average person changes their role within an organization at least 4 times? People also change their career at least 6 times, their homes at least 12 times and their long term relationships at least 3 times in a lifetime.

In short, people are reinventing themselves at a rate never before seen in history–and it is growing exponentially. As the world changes, the way you belong to the world keeps changing, too. Yet, few of us have had a role model for reinventing ourselves over and over again. Just a generation or two ago people tended to stay in the same job, career, home, and relationship their entire life.

As a result, there exists a huge proportion of people perpetually in transition and entirely challenged about how to deal with it. Transitions are especially uncomfortable when you are between two worlds. You can’t go back to the old, but you haven’t yet found your way with the new. It’s like the winter of change when the old harvest is now gone and the new one needs time before it can manifest.

The winter of change can feel barren and cold

In this stage you can feel lost, lethargic; maybe not even wanting to get out of bed in the morning. Some people even feel like they no longer connect to a meaning for their life, and many things they used to enjoy are now feeling pointless. These are normal experiences during the winter season of your creative life. While it may be summer outside, it can feel like winter inside. Many people think that there is something wrong with them during this phase. Yet it is actually a very important phase of the reinvention process in a person’s life and to ignore it or to anaesthetize it can mean that you miss out on the next harvesting of your life journey.

There are cycles in everyone’s life when it feels barren, like nothing is happening, like the great harvest you experienced before in your life will never happen again. During this state of mind a subterranean part of your psyche is replenishing itself and getting you ready for what’s next. This is the time in your cycle of growth when you need the most support and the time you’re least likely to ask for it.

Carl Jung great thought-leader in the field of psychology, once said: “Depression is often the empty stillness which precedes creative work.” Once you realize this it can create a sense of safety to just be okay with the barrenness of this winter of change in your life. In fact, for some people this reframe alone can make it sometimes a fascinating rather than only an uncomfortable process.

People often enter the winter of change after they have achieved their goal

This state of mind can happen soon after you retire, even if you had been looking forward to your retirement for years. It can happen after your children leave home, even if you were looking forward to finally freeing up your energy from all those years of parenting. Or even more surprisingly after a great success in your life. If you had been working for years to achieve a certain level of career success and then you finally achieve it, there can be an odd sense of purposelessness when it’s over that can usher you into a winter of your creative cycle.

This happened for me about 14 years ago after I’d spent 5 years building my career as an inspirational speaker. I had achieved my dream and I was speaking at huge sales rallies across the continent. I was being flown around and put up in five-star hotels. After the last in a series of presentations had completed I remember going back to my hotel room and instead of feeling elated I felt strangely depressed. I felt as if whatever I was seeking all those years was not worth it or that somehow this dream I was chasing wasn’t giving me what I was actually looking for.

This was the beginning of two years of a barren winter in my life in which I no longer wanted to do this career, and didn’t have the motivation or interest to create anything new. It was a frightening time for me because I knew nothing about this natural time of barrenness that people experience cyclically in their lives. I was afraid that I would stay in this state forever. It took a toll on my health, my relationships and of course my income. The only thing I seemed interested in doing was journaling and walking in nature which in retrospect was exactly what I needed to be doing. I was discovering a new purpose that wanted to be born into my life.

What took so long for me to get through this process was that I didn’t want to let go of the old identity because it was familiar, I knew how to make it work and I was  attached to the social approval I received for this kind of work, not to mention the income and sense of security that provided. Yet, trying to hold on was actually creating more problems in my life.

When I finally let go of my old identity and let myself go into the dark and the unknown I started to discover amazing things, parts of myself that wanted expression. The truth was that I didn’t need to change what I was doing but how I was doing it. Through this 2 years I created a process that I now share with people so they don’t have to go through two years of being lost, confused and resistant to this winter of change. I have been working with people and perfecting the system ever since.

The Art of Reinvention process for getting through to Spring

The Art of Reinvention process helps you move through this period of time more quickly, with ease and grace, and it helps you reframe this process so that you suffer less and enjoy it for what it is. A process like this can also help you avoid the pitfalls that often happen during the winter of change – for example addictive behaviors, creating drama, relationship breakdowns, health issues, financial issues.

This process is useful for anyone who is in transition, having left behind:

• a job or career (e.g. being a supervisor or running a business)
• a relationship  (e.g. losing a friend, or going through a divorce)
• a role (e.g. being a parent, or being a volunteer)
• an identity (e.g. being single, being in your 40s)

And it’s especially helpful if you haven’t gotten clear about what is next, or more importantly how you want do what’s next in your life. Check out The Art of Reinvention process here. It is an easy-to-use, step-by-step process to help you explore the themes of the next chapter of your life.

And just remember, it takes courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful for you. There is actually more security in taking an adventure into the new, because in movement there is life and vitality again.

The metaphor of the growing cycle, is a useful one for change leaders. Creating fertile soil is your first task towards ensuring the seed of your idea can thrive. Have you broken down the old fears, learned from them, and therefore created a rich and “alive” environment that invites excitement?

Why people paid so much for tickets for the Winter Olympics

Some people paid as much at $750 to $1500 per ticket to see an event at the Olympic Winter Games here in Vancouver this week. When I surveyed these ticket buyers as to why they would spend so much on a two-hour experience I received the same general answer: “It’s so alive and exciting, and those kind of experiences are rare in life.”

An innovative way to bring awareness to your cause

Here’s another example. An innovative organization called Imagine 1 Day was seeking to gain attention for their cause: providing primary education for all children in Ethiopia. They organized a flash mob dance during the Winter Olympics games in downtown Vancouver. The idea was to teach a choreographed routine to a group of people who would then spontaneously break into that dance in a public area — an idea no doubt inspired by the Improv Everywhere events.

They invited people in their network and staged several rehearsals to teach a dance routine to the hit song, Dancing in the Street. They expected about 200-300 people to show up. In the end, over 3000 people learned the dance. The crowd took up an entire city block in Vancouver. Ten times more people than they ever expected to attend were there, and all of those people got to hear about their cause. Not only that but another thousand watched from the sidelines. Add to that all the videographers who posted it on YouTube. Even CNN reported on it. Why would that many people spent so much of their precious time and energy to learn a rather complicated routine and then drag themselves out on a cold and rainy day to dance it? I was one of the participants along with many of my friends. The answer seemed unanimous. Because it was exciting to be part of a huge group of people harmonizing our energies together doing something fun — all for a great cause. In short, it made us all feel more alive.

Here’s a short clip of the event:

Regardless of your opinion about an organization’s goals, Olympics Games or educating children in Ethiopia, creating an atmosphere of aliveness invariably attracts people and opens minds.

Trying to plant your seed of change in unbalanced soil

In the last blog post we talked about one of the main mistakes change leaders make–which is trying to plant the seed of change in unbalanced soil. When there is an over focus on protection at the expense of growth ideas can’t get traction. People have a deep need to feel alive, to grow and thrive. They also have a core need to feel safe and protected. The problem comes when those two needs get out of balance. The tendency in many organizations especially after an economic downturn, is for there to be an over focus on protection which tends to kill off growth and aliveness. Many organizations are not open to change because there is a long standing habit of operating mainly from a fear-based need to simply survive. This survival mindset may have some basis in reality but more often it is simply a bad habit of catastrophic thinking. As a change leader you may need to address this issue before people will be open to your idea for positive change. Organizations and individuals get stuck in protection mode due to perceptions. No change can occur unless you help stakeholders perceive the situation in a more growth-oriented way. This usually cannot be done with logic alone as fear is an instinctual emotion and therefore you will need a more “alive” approach.

Case study – focusing on growth and aliveness to change perception

For example, a privately-owned software company had a culture clash between the sales force and the product development and tech support teams. The owner felt that the majority of resources and decision-making power should lie in the hands of the sales force because they drove revenue. As a result, the sales team decided on timelines and deliverables without consulting the other teams.

Naturally, the stress levels and subsequent resentment within the development team grew. When the development team presented their concerns to the owner he simply asked them to “think more positively” — and you can imagine the response to that. The owner had tunnel vision about the structure and system needed for his company to survive. The previous two years had been a tough. Cash flow suffered due to an economic downturn and they had barely avoided bankruptcy. As a result all he could focus on was cash flow, and the sales force meant cash flow. Now that sales were flowing they were taking every contract without communicating with each other before signing the deal.

Meanwhile the product developers and tech support team suffered. Several of their best people quit. Back room gossip escalated. Interpersonal conflict grew. When the owner heard that clients were leaving because of the bad “vibe” there, he hired an HR person to sort things out. She tried everything from disciplining the gossipers to sending them off for motivational training to help them “get over their resistance to change”. Not surprisingly, the resentment just seemed to grow.

After assessing the situation we helped the HR person come up with a new tactic. She led a team building day with everyone in the company that started with a fun activity. Once they were relaxed and enjoying being together, she illustrated the growth potential of a more collaborative decision-making process. She addressed all concerns such as the fear that consulting with other team leaders would mean losing contracts. She provided facts to prove that an over-focus on sales was ironically costing everyone in terms of morale, productivity, customer service, employee health, and ultimately revenue. Even though it looked like the focus on sales was all about growth, it was coming from a fear-based mindset. She offered success stories of similar firms that were consulting with each other before signing deals and still thriving very well.To make a long story short, they found a way to restructured resources in a way that seemed more equitable to all concerned and decided that all team leaders would be consulted before signing any client contracts. In the end this allowed for much better external (and internal) customer service.

Habits got you where you are and so the good news is that new habits can eventually get you where you want to go. Habits write new neuron pathways in your brain. Over time this creates a new default. This of course isn’t new information.  Aristotle, the ancient Greek philosopher, once said:”We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.”  Here’s a couple of examples, Linda’s new habit of walking to the gym instead of driving helped her lose 5 extra pounds over one year. Mark’s new habit of getting all his supplies ready by the door the night before helped him stop being late.

Here are 5 tried and true habits for creating the change you want:

1.  Create an ideal outcome

David Whyte, an expert on workplace creativity, is quoted as saying “The antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest, but often it’s wholeheartedness.” Often you can’t change something because you are far too focused on what you don’t want. This only reinforces it and can make you exhausted. See if you can reframe in terms of what you do want. For example, “I don’t want to attend these long boring meetings,” becomes “I’d like to have shorter, more engaging and productive meetings.” “I am tired of this constant back pain” becomes “I’d like to have a healthy spine.” Sounds simple, but do you do actually practice this as much as you could? That habit alone of reframing could create a sense of wholeheartedness that will fuel your change like nothing else.

Bottom Line

Here are 4 short activities to help you try these habits:

1. Write out 3 complaints you have in your life and reframe them in terms of what you want instead.
2. The next time something happens that triggers an “unhelpful” negative response throw both arms in the air and yell out “Excellent!”
3. Spend an hour this weekend de-cluttering one area of your home. While doing it, think of a goal you’d like to manifest and see if this helps move you further towards your goal.
4. Think of a change you want to make and then simply ask yourself “If I were exceptional at ___________ (being the change I want to see) – what would I do?”

For more ideas, tips, programs and support go to The Artistry of Change web site

If you would like to explore your creative potential in a highly inspiring, safe and beautiful environment, come to our annual Artistry of Change retreat at Hollyhock Oct. 1-4, 2009

In this program you will discover:

* habits that will allow you to continually re-invent yourself and keep your creative fire alive
* a 10-step self-coaching process you can use the rest of your life
* how to see past limited beliefs to find your real truth
* how to create a results-based action plan to manifest this next phase of your life

Watch this video of Carla talking about how to overcome the obstacles to embodying your vision or life purpose

Carla Rieger’s Artistry of Change® model allows you to burn away the dross and find the gold that’s been waiting for you. Through interactive, creative, playful, fun activities, Carla shows you the steps necessary to inspire your best creative work while effectively handling resistance, uncertainty and self-doubt. This approach blends the best of the world of artistry with the human potential movement in exciting new ways.

Benefits of taking this program include:

* tools to overcome your natural resistance to change
* how to harness negativity in your life for creativity
* getting crystal clear on what you want to manifest
* a specific action plan that you can implement immediately
* on-going support and accountability to take action in the world

Modalities for working will be:

* interactive creativity exercises
* slide show and entertaining videos
* group work and debriefing
* solo work

Come with a specific outcome you’d like to manifest such as a career, health, relationship or personal goal. This workshop is for people who have sensed that they are stuck in life and that the “stuckness” is costly them.

Carla Rieger is a creativity and innovation catalyst. As an author, educator, coach and entertainer, she works with individuals and organizations internationally to help them stay on their creative edge. Her books on innovation, communication and change plus her novels and plays are all designed to ignite people’s creative fire.

The Artistry of Change Retreat is coming up October 1-4, 2009, at Hollyhock on beautiful Cortes Island. Join us for a rare opportunity to get clear on what is next in your life. There are still some scholarships available. Check out the Hollyhock website for more info on scholarships or email Scholarship for application information.

To register click here.

Having fun at one of Carla’s retreat:

Just get a new job, start a business, train in a new career, come up with a new product or service, find a different kind of customer, create a new business model and so on.

Fear of death

The reality of re-inventing yourself, however, can be immensely difficult because of several issues, one of which rarely gets talked about. That issue is the fear of death. It sounds strange, but some psychologists say that all fear can be traced back to fear of death. In the context of reinvention this would be about death of the personality or the existing identity or structure and the familiarity of the status quo.

Without death there can be no creativity in life

We are genetically programmed to enter into an intense state of fear at the thought of our demise or anything we are attached to. Yet, the Buddhists say that without death, there can be no joy in life, no creativity. Or as Mary Catherine Bateson said at the BRC in February: “We need to be able to walk into the forest and see that all of its beauty is intertwined with the process of death feeding back into the life of the forest.”  David Whyte talks about it eloquently in this video, that death or destruction of the old is a necessary part of the artistic tradition. And, if we are the artists of our lives, our work, and our businesses it helps to periodically let go of the old.