“Carla Rieger, motivational speaker, author and coach, activates team leaders and business owners to speak with power and passion. She helps you build a positive team culture and to create presentations that grow your income, build your credibility and change lives for the better.”
Are you frustrated because you’re not getting the success you want?
If you have your own business, often procrastination is a symptom of a deeper issue. It can be about fear of failure. If you don’t succeed because you never properly tried, it’s less painful than if you put your heart and soul into it and THEN you fail. As a result, a subconscious part of you might be intentionally sabotaging your forward movement in order to protect you from that pain.
Most people have an inner committee of voices with various roles, somewhat like the management team of a company. For example, you might have:
The CEO with the vision to succeed.
PUBLIC RELATIONS who ensures you have a good image and reputation in the world.
The AUDITOR whose job is quality control.
SECURITY who’s job it is to keep you safe.
If the CEO’s vision puts you at risk for failure, which could lead to a loss of self esteem, then SECURITY might block your success. Make sense?
It’s very challenging to change this kind of self sabotage at the conscious level. You need to change it at the subconscious level where these archetypal voices reside. Usually, people fear failure in an area where they made a mistake in the past and suffered negative consequences. Then they are afraid to try again. Often, the way to transform that fear is to go back to that incident, with a wiser perspective, and a more forgiving heart, and free yourself up from the bonds of that fear.
You can do that:
On your own through your imagination and intention, which is far more powerful than most people believe.
Through journalling and automatic writing.
Through listening to a guided meditation that prompts your imagination to go back in time and re-educate SECURITY.
The idea here is to stop SECURITY from sabotaging your progress by exploring an outcome that ensures your safety while also allowing your goals and visions to come to fruition.
Feeling a lack of motivation when it comes to your work life?
It may mean it’s time to reinvent yourself.
Maybe you need a career change, or maybe you need to just change HOW you’re doing your work. This is an interview with Mid Life Reinvention Expert, Dolly Garlo.
People are reinventing themselves at a rate never before seen in history
Did you know that the average person changes their role in life, the main focus of their day, at least 6 times? Maybe they try College, then job for 2 years, travel, job for another 3 years, stay home with kids, start a business, sell the business, start another business, travel some more, take time off, volunteer, start another business, and on it goes.
In short, people are reinventing themselves at a rate never before seen in history–and it is growing exponentially. As the world changes, the way you belong to the world keeps changing, too. Yet, few of us have had a role model for reinventing ourselves over and over again. Just a generation or two ago people tended to stay in the same job, career, home, their entire life. As a result, there exists a huge proportion of people perpetually in transition and entirely challenged about how to deal with it.
The 3 signs it’s time to reinvent your life are:
You’re lacking a motivation to try new things and keep it fresh
You don’t have the same drive to transform obstacles
You’re daydreaming A LOT about doing other things besides work
Transitions are especially uncomfortable when you are between two worlds. You can’t go back to the old, or you’re so tired of the old but don’t have the guts to change or the clarity about where to go next. It’s like the winter of change when the old harvest is now gone and the new one needs time before it can manifest. That’s when it’s so important to get help, otherwise you can stay stuck like this for years. I’ll tell you how that happened to me in a moment.
That’s why I’m so excited to introduce you to Dolly Garlo who is talking about
“Beyond Career Success: Design an Inspired New Path for Life, Leadership & Legacy”
~ For professionals and leaders in their field who reach mid-career and beyond longing to reinvent themselves, to create something more fulfilling… and need help to create a clear plan to make it happen.
Let me give you a little personal intro about this topic, because I want you to get how important having this kind of help is. Most people reach a time in life where you feel like you need to rekindle your passion and interests, especially when it comes to how you focus your energies in daily life. And Dolly is amazing at helping you discover how to feel more inspired by your work and other involvements, use your experience and expertise to lead the way to a better world – and more fully live the life you’ve worked so hard to create. It’s very hard to do that by yourself. I was a case in point.
There are cycles in everyone’s life when it feels barren, like nothing is happening, like the great harvest you experienced before in your life will never happen again. During this state of mind a subterranean part of your psyche is replenishing itself and getting you ready for what’s next. This is the time in your cycle of growth when you need the most support and the time you’re least likely to ask for it.
Getting stuck in the “Winter of Change”
People often enter what I like to call “the winter of change” after they have achieved their goal. This state of mind can happen soon after you retire, even if you had been looking forward to your retirement for years. It can happen after your children leave home, even if you were looking forward to finally freeing up your energy from all those years of parenting. Or even more surprisingly after a great success in your life. If you had been working for years to achieve a certain level of career success and then you finally achieve it, there can be an odd sense of purposelessness when it’s over that can usher you into a winter of your creative cycle.
This happened for me about 16 years ago after I’d spent 5 years building my career as an inspirational speaker. I had achieved my dream and I was speaking at huge sales rallies across the continent. I was being flown around and put up in five-star hotels. After the last in a series of presentations had completed I remember going back to my hotel room and instead of feeling elated I felt strangely depressed. I felt as if whatever I was seeking all those years was now achieved and I had no new goals. And that the dream I had been chasing wasn’t giving me what I was actually looking for.
This was the beginning of two years of a barren winter in my life in which I no longer wanted to do this career, and didn’t have the motivation or interest to create anything new. It was a frightening time for me because I knew nothing about this natural time of barrenness that people experience cyclically in their lives. I was afraid that I would stay in this state forever. It took a toll on my health, my relationships and of course my income. I finally found someone like Dolly. I didn’t know Dolly back then, but the person I found helped me turn things around and I only wish I’d thought to find help earlier. I wouldn’t have had to spend 2 years. She could help me see things that I couldn’t see. They were in my blind spot. For example, I didn’t want to let go of the old identity of motivational speaker because it was familiar, I knew how to make it work and I was attached to the social approval I received for this kind of work, not to mention the income and sense of security that provided. Yet, trying to hold on was actually creating more problems in my life.
How to let go of your old identity so a new one can come forward
When I finally let go of this old identity and let myself go into the dark and the unknown through her help, I started to discover amazing things, parts of myself that wanted expression. The truth was that I didn’t need to change what I was doing but how I was doing it. Through this work with her, I got my mojo back, I got a new sense of clarity, and was able to reconstruct my life, my way of working, the people I worked with, the types of offerings, and the kind of lifestyle I needed in order to thrive. And the upside was that I ended up making more money, reaching more people, have more life balance, making a bigger difference. Before I was just a professional speaker. I was flying around the continent 50 times a year. I had no social life. It was hard on my marriage at the time. It was hard on my health. I had no hobbies. I was affecting people positively but you can only do so much by speaking to people for say, 1 hour.
After we did did the life redesign…and it did need to include my whole life, not just my career, I started offering my expertise is a greater variety of ways such as phone coaching, online learning programs, I wrote books, and I started a theatre troupe—that was a sideline hobby. That way I was home more often, which improved my relationship and health, and I was making a bigger difference for more people around the globe. I could be living in Hawaii and still having an income. I had a passive source of time, and not just a time for money type role in the world. I was getting back to something I loved which was comedy improvisation. I felt 10x better than when I was doing my old career. I really felt so much more alive. That’s why her company is called “Thrive”.
There is no real security in what is no longer meaningful for you
So, while it takes courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful for you. There is actually more security in taking an adventure into the new, because in movement there is life and vitality again.
So in the interview above we explore
The biggest factors that can stop you from going for what you really want, or paralyze your progress (this is a bigger issue than your financial security)
What do to when not if obstacles present themselves as you begin to move in a new direction
The most important steps to take to make the move from where you are now to where you want to go – quickly, smoothly… and without regret
And so much more…
This information is specifically for you if you’re:
A professional such as a lawyer, doctor, nurse, accountant, etc.
In a leadership role in your job
An independent sales person in such areas as real estate, network marketing, financial planning, etc.
In the experts industry – coach, consultant, speaker, trainer, infopreneur
Dolly Garlo is an RN, JD, Board Certified Business, and Leadership and Legacy Coach. She is a speaker, trainer, and consultant who works with masterful professionals and senior executives in business and government service. More information at http://dollygarlo.com/
DOLLY IS OFFER A FREE ONLINE TRAINING: Are you a professional who has reached mid-career and are longing for something new, different… more fulfilling? Join Dolly for a Free Training happening this week. For more info and to register CLICK HERE.
The #1 way to create rapport and emotional connection is…..to become a GREAT storyteller. It’s one of the most powerful communication tools to grow your business quickly. Whether you present your offers 1-to-1 or to groups, and whether it’s online or offline, a story will capture attention like nothing else.
Here’s an example
One of my clients, Patty, was a financial planner and mindset coach. She was feeling burned out by her marketing efforts. They weren’t working and she was waking up wondering if it was all really worth it. Do you ever get like that?
She was close to calling it quits. Then we worked together to explore her purpose, her mission and her WHY for doing her business. Through questioning and introspection we were able to dig down to her core purpose. That alone revived her motivation. Then we explored her “back story” on her purpose that she could share with prospective clients.
Her mission, purpose and WHY was to free people from worrying about finances so they could enjoy their lives and relationship so much more. Then I asked her to tell me her “back story” on that. I asked such questions as,
What happened to make that true?
Why have you chosen this business focus over all the other ones you could have chosen?
What happened in your childhood, or during your formative years?
What was a challenge you overcame that made you passionate about this?
She started telling me about coming from a family that argued when money was tight. Sound familiar? When money was good, they were happy together. Her parents got along, the kids got attention, and they did outings together. When money was tight they argued, the kids felt neglected and they didn’t do anything fun together.
As a child, she made a strong decision that she would grow up to be financially free. That way those negative experiences wouldn’t happen to her. Guess what happened? When she started her own family, she noticed a similar pattern. Arguing when money was tight, and happiness when money was good. She then realized that it wasn’t so much the money, as the feeling behind the money. That was about feeling secure, and like she could live the life she wanted.
A mentor taught her that in addition to learning how to run a profitable business, she needed to learn how to run a prosperous mind. Patty learned how to generate feelings of security, choice and abundance and noticed that helped attract the actual life of prosperity she wanted. It was such a revelation to her that she taught this principle to her family. It made a difference. Then she taught it to her clients, and it became her differentiating factor. Her tagline became We help families become financially free inside and out.
Patty wrote out and memorized a version of that story, and started telling it to people individually and during public speaking opportunities. She also used it on her website, in blog posts and in her social media profiles. Instead of being just one more financial planner, she was not highlighting this unique focus. It attracted like-minded people, so her business filled up with people who had similar values and were open to mindset expansion. Her passion ignited a passion in others, and her client base exploded.
3 benefits of WHY Stories
#1 –Prospects like, know and trust you more: Because your WHY story includes your mission, values and purpose, they tend to like, know and trust you more. That is, of course, if they are a good fit for your offerings.
#2 –Stories help bypass people’s objections: Stories bypass the discriminatory, judgmental mind. Most people have their guard up when listening to offers from salespeople. When they listen to your story they listen from the imaginative part of the brain. That way they are less likely to overlay a previous bad experience with someone else, onto you. In addition, it makes them more open to new possibilities for their life.
#3 – Stories make you more memorable. Have you ever been to a business presentation that was all facts and theories — boring, right? People hear facts from the logical part of their brain, where the short term memory resides. They hear stories from the imaginative part of the brain, where the long term memory resides. Your prospects don’t need to know every single fact and feature. They want to know WHY they should take an interest. When you tell them your WHY story, it stirs their imagination so they can see themselves getting the benefits of your offer.
How Can I Create a WHY Story?
Here’s some first steps. By the way, you can create a WHY story on more than one aspect of your business, such as one on a particular product or service, and one on your overall business mission.
Ask yourself 3 questions.
Why do you love the products or services you offer so much?
What made you choose to focus so much time and attention on this business as opposed to all the other possible things you could be doing with your time?
What is your ultimate vision that this business is helping you achieve? What is at the deep core of what drives you?”
Make notes, and then pick one of those WHYs: the one that has the biggest importance for you today. Now this is still in concept form and my question to you is “what is your backstory on that?”
What happened to make that true?
Why have you chosen this business over all the other ones you could have chosen?
What happened in your childhood, or during your formative years?
Was there a challenge you overcame that made you passionate about this?
Are you now excited and can’t wait to start telling people your WHY story? Or, is something is holding you back? Maybe you are afraid that your story won’t be good enough. Maybe you have never done anything like this before and you just need more help to get it done.
No worries, help is on the way. Check out my FREE webinar on:
My first speaking engagement was in front of 1400 students. It was at a campus in New York City. The gym was steaming hot and packed to the brim with skeptical 18 year olds. I’d never spoken to more than 12 people at one time. I had sweaty palms, shaking hands, a pounding chest, and adrenaline coursing through my veins. On top of that, I completely forgot what I wanted to say. I had memorized my whole script, but where was it when I needed it?
I had almost the exact same physical reaction the first time I led a webinar, 20 years later, even though I’d been doing public speaking for years. The truth is, the first time you do ANYTHING that’s important to you, there’s a natural fear of failure. You tend to make more mistakes the first time you try something rather than the tenth time. Most people don’t like to fail. They associate it with danger. For example, losing face, losing friends or losing a job. All those physical and mental symptoms are a sign you’re “triggered”. You survival brain is being overactive. The trick is to know how to change how your brain is operating in those high pressure situations.
Whether you give presentations online or live, to one person or to many, anxiety is a very common experience. There are several reasons for this, and those reasons will be different for different people. Usually, however, the top reason is a fear of failure. Typically people will run stories in their mind from their past. They will hone in on times when they were criticized, invalidated or deemed unworthy of people’s attention.
In 25 years of public speaking and 15 years of coaching people on public speaking and researching this subject, here are what I consider to be the top 3 ways to transform a fear of failure:
Actual Rehearsal: Practice not only to become more comfortable with your material, but to experience the range of emotions that come with giving presentations. Rehearse in front of colleagues or a coach who will give you constructive feedback. Steve Jobs reportedly became a world-class presenter through massive rehearsing. Few speakers rehearse more than once. Consider rehearsing your presentation 5x as much as you think you need. Carmine Gallo writes in his excellent book, The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs (McGraw-Hill 2010). “His preparation time is legendary among those closest to him.” Gallo’s book shows how Jobs began preparing weeks in advance, and typically spent two full days rehearsing, asking for feedback, making adjustments, and tightening his flow.
Mentally Rehearsal: In Small Message, Big Impact, author Terri L. Sjodin recommends visualizing how you will feel during your presentation and afterwards. By visualizing a job well-done, you replace negative self-talk and put the whole experience in perspective–as one event among many. If you join my Presentation Prosperity Facebook Group, you’ll find a free Mental Rehearsal audio MP3 you can download for free. Listen to it right before you give a presentation and it will calm you right down and increase your confidence.
Rewrite Limiting Subconscious Beliefs: Often fears of failure are based on past experiences. Here is a powerful way to assign a new meaning to those experiences. It’s a timeline audio MP3 process to help you Overcome a Fear of Failure. Usually, people fear failure in an area where they made a mistake in the past and suffered negative consequences. Then they are afraid to try again. Often, the way to transform that fear is to go back to that incident, with a wiser perspective, and a more forgiving heart, and free yourself up from the bonds of that fear. Try out this free MP3 audio, which is a short self hypnosis guided meditation. You can either listen lying down, or, you can actually walk the timeline as you listen. Find a place in your home where there’s room to move. People often say, that was amazing, I felt so much more free and a deeper sense of peace and confidence to move forward like never before. I wish I had this technique years ago.
What have I missed?
Here are other things the experts say that help overcome a fear of failure:
Get enough sleep for a few days ahead
Thoroughly check out the technology you’ll be using a day ahead
Lightly exercise a few hours before the presentation
Never, ever drink alcohol before your appearance
How have you managed the fears of public speaking?
FREE SELF HYPNOSIS PROCESS: Try the timeline audio MP3 process to help you Overcome a Fear of Failure. It’s a free MP3 audio, a short self hypnosis guided meditation. You can either listen lying down, or, you can actually walk the timeline as you listen. Find a place in your home where there’s room to move. People often say, that was amazing, I felt so much more free and a deeper sense of peace and confidence to move forward like never before. I wish I had this technique years ago. Enjoy!
A “Mind Story” engages listeners at the level of values and core beliefs. As such these kinds of stories can activate people in positive ways. By contrast, a regular story told by a presenter might be interesting but doesn’t change people at a core level.
For example, you may remember the book series “Chicken Soup for the Soul” by Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield. These books included stories that touch people at the level of soul, heart, emotions, values. You may like some of these stories and not others. It depends on your values and personality. However, stories that just appeal to the linear, logical, analytical mind tend to not stick with people in the same way.
Mind Stories are metaphors, anecdotes or stories that reprogram people for good or bad. Therefore, you must use them responsibly. They work much like software in a computer and are a universal language everyone understands at the subconscious level. Therapists and counsellors have been using Therapeutic Metaphors for decades. For example, if a client is dealing with the untimely death of a spouse, the therapist might tell the story of a rose garden with two roses. One gets dug up and removed to another location, and what transpires because of that. In hearing the story, often the client will find a new and more helpful perspective on their situation that they might not otherwise be able to see. You can use Mind Stories to help students solve problems, help coaching clients transform an issue, and even sell products and services that your prospects need.
Mind Stories are usually better than common sales talk. In a Mind Story you relate real life instances to real people, thereby showing them how the benefits might play out their life. They see the product as a solution instead of simply a commodity. They make the buying decision it’s the right fit for them versus feeling manipulated. As a result, there is far less buyers regret.
Mind Stories also show us how to change our perspective at will, and break us free of programming that’s keeping us stuck. That’s why using a Mind Story as a speaker at a live event, on a webinar, in a video, with a coaching or consulting client and in a sales conversation, is good for you and for the listener. As long as what you’re teaching or promoting holds value for the listener, these kinds of stories will help clear up misunderstandings and objections.
You can also use Mind Stories for your own personal and professional development. The stories we tell ourselves can make or break our success. For example, I had two coaching clients who were both speaking at the same event. One was telling herself a story about how she wasn’t ready and how the audience wasn’t going to like her talk. The other client was telling himself a different story. It was about how he WAS ready and how the audience was going to love his talk. During our rehearsals the first client fell to pieces and the second client did very well. The story you tell yourself greatly affects your performance.
With my first client we worked on two new Mind Stories. One from her past, where she relived a public speaking success from the year before. I also helped her mentally rehearse how she wanted it to go, thereby creating a new story for her future. As a result, her performance on the actual day was 10x better and people got tremendous value from her talk.
If you’d like to check out a free process to build good Mind Stories for yourself, check out The Memory Imprint JournalHERE.