“Carla Rieger, motivational speaker, author and coach, activates team leaders and business owners to speak with power and passion. She helps you build a positive team culture and to create presentations that grow your income, build your credibility and change lives for the better.”
* Do you ever feel TOO nervous in situations like public speaking, interviews or networking events?
* What is actually taking place in the brain of a person when they experience this fear?
* How can a person transform that kind of fear within minutes?
If you have ever asked yourself those questions then you are in the right place. Julie Anderson interviews Carla Rieger–an expert in helping people to break through their fears in high pressure situations.
Through her business The Artistry of Change Training and Consulting Inc. they focus on building presentation and communication skills for visionary leaders and business owners.
In this interview, she will answer these questions:
* In what kinds of high pressure situations can you use these tools?
* What is the secret to being able to speak with confidence in a high pressure situation?
* What is going on in a person’s brain when they are afraid of public speaking?
* What is an example of something a person can do to shift how their brain is reacting in real time?
Last year, I was traveling and speaking a lot. At one point, I got into a panic about missing my flight. I’m getting off one flight and realize I only have 56 minutes to get to my next flight. I discover I have to leave security. Exit the terminal. Take a bus to the next terminal. Go through security again to my gate. I get to security and the line is a mile long. My flight is leaving in 18 minutes.
I start to panic. Even if I jump to the front of the line, there’s still a 15 minute walk AFTER I get through security. Of course when you panic your brain capacity goes down, and you tend to catastrophize. I start envisioning missing my flight and therefore missing my speaking engagement and all the negative consequences of that reality. Then I took a deep breath which, I know, can shift brain chemistry. I remembered about this Mind Story process to get “unstuck”.
It’s 3 simple steps:
#1 – NEGATIVE MINDSET. I identified the negative mindset “I am worried I won’t make my flight”.
#2 – POSITIVE MINDSET. I chose an opposite mindset “I have chosen to be confident that I can make my flight.”
#3 – MIND STORY. I remember a time I was in a similar situation and DID make my flight. It was 11 years earlier and I relived exactly what happened. I asked an airline rep to fast track me the whole way there. I doubted this would work again since I couldn’t see an airline rep anywhere in sight. I left my place in the line and told a security agent about my plight. He whipped me through the priority lane. Then they escorted me to an airline rep standing on the other side of security. She hailed down an airport golf cart. While I was speeding my way to the gate, she contacted the gate agent who was just closing the door. They held it open five more minutes. I arrived just in time for my flight.
Have you ever noticed that people often think they can’t solve a problem because of an external circumstance, when it’s actually their mindset? By remembering a time I was in a similar situation before, it helped me solve the situation again. You may be thinking, that’s just common sense. However, you’d be surprised at how often people lose their common sense when they are letting a negative mindset such as worry, overwhelm or confusion dictate their thinking.
You can use this 3 step Mind Story process on yourself, or with others. You can use it to solve a simple situation like the story above or a more complex situation like how to solve a cash flow crisis or how to make a life changing decision.
Here’s how you’d use it to help someone else. I was working with a client who was disappointed because he’d pitched himself as a consultant to a huge company and lost to a competitor. Here’s how I worked with him.
Step #1 – NEGATIVE MINDSET: I had him state his negative mindset in this way “I am + negative mindset + the situation”. For example, “I am disappointed about losing the deal”.
Step #2 – POSITIVE MINDSET: Then, I had him state the opposite, positive mindset that would help him find a better solution, “I have chosen to be + positive mindset + situation resolving”. He said, “I have chosen to be confident that I can learn from the situation and bounce back.”
This seemed strange at first to him, because he wasn’t feeling confident. However, as the old saying goes “You cannot solve a problem with the same mindset that created it.” The trick here is to help a person manufacture the new mindset, attitude, feeling, perception, by stating it in this way. By doing that, you help them create a magnet from the negative to the positive. It’s much like a circuit needs both negative and positive polarities to create electricity. The meeting of the two opposites then creates the spark for a solution.
Step #3 – TELL A MIND STORY: I asked him to tell me a story about a time he overcame a similar situation in the past. This is called a “Mind Story”. It’s a story that opens up new possibilities in the conscious AND subconscious mind of the listener. I asked him to include a beginning, middle and end. The beginning is what happened before he created a solution. The middle is what he did to create the solution. And the end is what it looked like after he implemented the solution. For example, he said:
Last year I almost got the TCU deal and lost to a different competitor. I had worked days on that proposal. I’d done 3 meetings. I was short-listed, and very hopeful. When I lost the deal I lost my enthusiasm. I got sick. I wanted to quit being a consultant. Then a friend told me about another company looking for a consultant like me and the deadline for the proposal was 2 days away. I shrugged off my disappointment and got the proposal done on time and landed the deal.
After he told me the story I asked him, “So, what would you do in this situation?”
He said, “Clearly I think it would work for me to just going on another proposal, rather than wallow in regret. It’s a numbers game.”
Off he went. Disappointment gone. Back in the saddle.
Does it always work quickly like that? No. But if it doesn’t work right away, chances are it will later. Sometimes you have to do it a few times, in more complex ways. These are just simple examples, using a short version of the Mind Story tools, for the sake of brevity. Stories bypass the judgmental mind and can open up a conversation between your subconscious and conscious mind. That way you are less likely to be stopped by limiting beliefs that can keep you stuck.
Enjoy and let me know if you try it
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Are you frustrated because you’re not getting the success you want?
If you have your own business, often procrastination is a symptom of a deeper issue. It can be about fear of failure. If you don’t succeed because you never properly tried, it’s less painful than if you put your heart and soul into it and THEN you fail. As a result, a subconscious part of you might be intentionally sabotaging your forward movement in order to protect you from that pain.
Most people have an inner committee of voices with various roles, somewhat like the management team of a company. For example, you might have:
The CEO with the vision to succeed.
PUBLIC RELATIONS who ensures you have a good image and reputation in the world.
The AUDITOR whose job is quality control.
SECURITY who’s job it is to keep you safe.
If the CEO’s vision puts you at risk for failure, which could lead to a loss of self esteem, then SECURITY might block your success. Make sense?
It’s very challenging to change this kind of self sabotage at the conscious level. You need to change it at the subconscious level where these archetypal voices reside. Usually, people fear failure in an area where they made a mistake in the past and suffered negative consequences. Then they are afraid to try again. Often, the way to transform that fear is to go back to that incident, with a wiser perspective, and a more forgiving heart, and free yourself up from the bonds of that fear.
You can do that:
On your own through your imagination and intention, which is far more powerful than most people believe.
Through journalling and automatic writing.
Through listening to a guided meditation that prompts your imagination to go back in time and re-educate SECURITY.
The idea here is to stop SECURITY from sabotaging your progress by exploring an outcome that ensures your safety while also allowing your goals and visions to come to fruition.
Feeling a lack of motivation when it comes to your work life?
It may mean it’s time to reinvent yourself.
Maybe you need a career change, or maybe you need to just change HOW you’re doing your work. This is an interview with Mid Life Reinvention Expert, Dolly Garlo.
People are reinventing themselves at a rate never before seen in history
Did you know that the average person changes their role in life, the main focus of their day, at least 6 times? Maybe they try College, then job for 2 years, travel, job for another 3 years, stay home with kids, start a business, sell the business, start another business, travel some more, take time off, volunteer, start another business, and on it goes.
In short, people are reinventing themselves at a rate never before seen in history–and it is growing exponentially. As the world changes, the way you belong to the world keeps changing, too. Yet, few of us have had a role model for reinventing ourselves over and over again. Just a generation or two ago people tended to stay in the same job, career, home, their entire life. As a result, there exists a huge proportion of people perpetually in transition and entirely challenged about how to deal with it.
The 3 signs it’s time to reinvent your life are:
You’re lacking a motivation to try new things and keep it fresh
You don’t have the same drive to transform obstacles
You’re daydreaming A LOT about doing other things besides work
Transitions are especially uncomfortable when you are between two worlds. You can’t go back to the old, or you’re so tired of the old but don’t have the guts to change or the clarity about where to go next. It’s like the winter of change when the old harvest is now gone and the new one needs time before it can manifest. That’s when it’s so important to get help, otherwise you can stay stuck like this for years. I’ll tell you how that happened to me in a moment.
That’s why I’m so excited to introduce you to Dolly Garlo who is talking about
“Beyond Career Success: Design an Inspired New Path for Life, Leadership & Legacy”
~ For professionals and leaders in their field who reach mid-career and beyond longing to reinvent themselves, to create something more fulfilling… and need help to create a clear plan to make it happen.
Let me give you a little personal intro about this topic, because I want you to get how important having this kind of help is. Most people reach a time in life where you feel like you need to rekindle your passion and interests, especially when it comes to how you focus your energies in daily life. And Dolly is amazing at helping you discover how to feel more inspired by your work and other involvements, use your experience and expertise to lead the way to a better world – and more fully live the life you’ve worked so hard to create. It’s very hard to do that by yourself. I was a case in point.
There are cycles in everyone’s life when it feels barren, like nothing is happening, like the great harvest you experienced before in your life will never happen again. During this state of mind a subterranean part of your psyche is replenishing itself and getting you ready for what’s next. This is the time in your cycle of growth when you need the most support and the time you’re least likely to ask for it.
Getting stuck in the “Winter of Change”
People often enter what I like to call “the winter of change” after they have achieved their goal. This state of mind can happen soon after you retire, even if you had been looking forward to your retirement for years. It can happen after your children leave home, even if you were looking forward to finally freeing up your energy from all those years of parenting. Or even more surprisingly after a great success in your life. If you had been working for years to achieve a certain level of career success and then you finally achieve it, there can be an odd sense of purposelessness when it’s over that can usher you into a winter of your creative cycle.
This happened for me about 16 years ago after I’d spent 5 years building my career as an inspirational speaker. I had achieved my dream and I was speaking at huge sales rallies across the continent. I was being flown around and put up in five-star hotels. After the last in a series of presentations had completed I remember going back to my hotel room and instead of feeling elated I felt strangely depressed. I felt as if whatever I was seeking all those years was now achieved and I had no new goals. And that the dream I had been chasing wasn’t giving me what I was actually looking for.
This was the beginning of two years of a barren winter in my life in which I no longer wanted to do this career, and didn’t have the motivation or interest to create anything new. It was a frightening time for me because I knew nothing about this natural time of barrenness that people experience cyclically in their lives. I was afraid that I would stay in this state forever. It took a toll on my health, my relationships and of course my income. I finally found someone like Dolly. I didn’t know Dolly back then, but the person I found helped me turn things around and I only wish I’d thought to find help earlier. I wouldn’t have had to spend 2 years. She could help me see things that I couldn’t see. They were in my blind spot. For example, I didn’t want to let go of the old identity of motivational speaker because it was familiar, I knew how to make it work and I was attached to the social approval I received for this kind of work, not to mention the income and sense of security that provided. Yet, trying to hold on was actually creating more problems in my life.
How to let go of your old identity so a new one can come forward
When I finally let go of this old identity and let myself go into the dark and the unknown through her help, I started to discover amazing things, parts of myself that wanted expression. The truth was that I didn’t need to change what I was doing but how I was doing it. Through this work with her, I got my mojo back, I got a new sense of clarity, and was able to reconstruct my life, my way of working, the people I worked with, the types of offerings, and the kind of lifestyle I needed in order to thrive. And the upside was that I ended up making more money, reaching more people, have more life balance, making a bigger difference. Before I was just a professional speaker. I was flying around the continent 50 times a year. I had no social life. It was hard on my marriage at the time. It was hard on my health. I had no hobbies. I was affecting people positively but you can only do so much by speaking to people for say, 1 hour.
After we did did the life redesign…and it did need to include my whole life, not just my career, I started offering my expertise is a greater variety of ways such as phone coaching, online learning programs, I wrote books, and I started a theatre troupe—that was a sideline hobby. That way I was home more often, which improved my relationship and health, and I was making a bigger difference for more people around the globe. I could be living in Hawaii and still having an income. I had a passive source of time, and not just a time for money type role in the world. I was getting back to something I loved which was comedy improvisation. I felt 10x better than when I was doing my old career. I really felt so much more alive. That’s why her company is called “Thrive”.
There is no real security in what is no longer meaningful for you
So, while it takes courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful for you. There is actually more security in taking an adventure into the new, because in movement there is life and vitality again.
So in the interview above we explore
The biggest factors that can stop you from going for what you really want, or paralyze your progress (this is a bigger issue than your financial security)
What do to when not if obstacles present themselves as you begin to move in a new direction
The most important steps to take to make the move from where you are now to where you want to go – quickly, smoothly… and without regret
And so much more…
This information is specifically for you if you’re:
A professional such as a lawyer, doctor, nurse, accountant, etc.
In a leadership role in your job
An independent sales person in such areas as real estate, network marketing, financial planning, etc.
In the experts industry – coach, consultant, speaker, trainer, infopreneur
Dolly Garlo is an RN, JD, Board Certified Business, and Leadership and Legacy Coach. She is a speaker, trainer, and consultant who works with masterful professionals and senior executives in business and government service. More information at http://dollygarlo.com/
DOLLY IS OFFERING A FREE ONLINE TRAINING: Are you a professional who has reached mid-career and are longing for something new, different… more fulfilling? Join Dolly for a Free Training happening this week. For more info and to register CLICK HERE.